Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML
Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML
Today, I realized that my brother is one of those people who comment on porn. I found out about it because he commented on my video. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, my brother sent me a dick pic. FML
Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
larryb1986 9
I would start walking around in a poncho and carrying an umbrella
FightMyLiger 19
Poland always gets hit first by these global assaults. World War J is upon us!
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Comments (116)
WolfLady 18
Well after he has tried that on some complete strangers he'll end up in prison. At which point there will be a whole new twist on that life goal.
rb4havoc 1
He should aspire to be a tree then. They get away with jizzing on everything.
The_Pug 5
I don't blame you.
The_Pug 5
Probably both.
bloodangel1973 8
Raindrops keep falling on my head.... Oh wait, that's not rain.....
JennNoVa 8
Lock your door at night and sleep in a wetsuit just in case he can pick a lock! Ew!
alicr 2
Quite the brother you have there....
Thestem 6
you got yourself a stickey situation on your hands.
drizzy11 18
What a ******* goal, holy ****
tangooscarmike 4
Some walks of life would find that as reason to commit murder.