Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML
Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML
Today, I realized that my brother is one of those people who comment on porn. I found out about it because he commented on my video. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, my brother sent me a dick pic. FML
Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
larryb1986 9
I would start walking around in a poncho and carrying an umbrella
FightMyLiger 19
Poland always gets hit first by these global assaults. World War J is upon us!
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Comments (116)
klovemachine 24
Jizzing ain't easy :-D
redbandit9877 12
Now that is an ambitious goal. I would tell him to protect his junk though, because most people won't take too kindly to being covered in random man juice.
Zebediabolical 43
It's ok. As his sister I'm sure he's already gotten to you first. You do sleep in the same house, right?
worldclassrager 39
I would take him to a psychologist...with his hands taped behind his back so he can't start...
perdix 29
Seeing that it makes sense that he jizzes over your town before he sets out on his quest, you'd better start wearing Saran Wrap and goggles and a muffler.
olpally 32
IT'S ******* QUAGMIRE FOR REAL!!! Lmao... RUN!!
cristy91 33
You might still be saved, he said "find a way" not "to" so maybe if he comes up with a plan on how to do it he'll have satisfied his curiosity and be done with the idea. Let's hope, OP, for everyone's sake.
sneeze_watch 19
Should this REALLY be in the "intimacy" category? Think about it for a sec.
FrankHotpants 31
This reminds me of that Lonely Island video Jizzed in my pants.
Drifting 21
Lock you door before you go to sleep...and you might also want to check under your bed, in the closet, behind the curtains and so on, if you don't want to be jizzed on...