Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML
Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML
Today, I realized that my brother is one of those people who comment on porn. I found out about it because he commented on my video. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, my brother sent me a dick pic. FML
Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
larryb1986 9
I would start walking around in a poncho and carrying an umbrella
FightMyLiger 19
Poland always gets hit first by these global assaults. World War J is upon us!
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Comments (116)
dead_insects 18
don't think he'll make it far in the world before someone rips his little dick off...
ladytigerhunts 20
Well, how old is your brother? If he's past teenhood, then I WOULD worry.
griggypop 4
The scariest thing for you, OP, is that he'll probably start with those closest to him.
lowshadows 21
that's like 8 billion strokes lol
Smoxxii 17
My life goal is to meet Gray Fullbuster... It's really pretty sad... But I must... I want to be a wizard. God damn it.
King_paradox 22
Sticky situation
jeepers_1 21
Well citizens of the world, we best keep our eye on the sky! Or be splooged on of course!
theworldismad 10
I'm scared too. I don't want your brother's **** on you
journeytotheend 16
I'll cut his body off if he does
BabyrooKid 11
How do you know that he hasn't already "marked" you?