Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML
Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML
Today, I realized that my brother is one of those people who comment on porn. I found out about it because he commented on my video. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, my brother sent me a dick pic. FML
Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
larryb1986 9
I would start walking around in a poncho and carrying an umbrella
FightMyLiger 19
Poland always gets hit first by these global assaults. World War J is upon us!
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Comments (116)
amifaiyaz 12
He's got his goals in order.
cul8r 4
If you assume that there are 7 billion people on earth and one portion of **** is 5ml, you can calculate that he will need 35,000 tons of cum to **** on everyone once. If he grows to be 100 years (36500 days), that means his balls will have to produce a ton of cum per day on average, roughly. I think you're on the safe side.
CanadianGirl9 2
You deserve this because you we're stupid enough to keep your brother and not sell him when you had the chance lol
luvjwaj16 3
If my brother would have said that to me.. I would throat punch him.
dr3amcatchr 2
Hahhaahhahahahahahahaha. That's so funny. I'm dying here. Punch him in the face, before he "hits you" first!! Hahahahahahahahahah
misszombiexx 10
XD I can't even (be original).
CougeeSwagg 19
He's gotta start collecting it now. put it into bombs, and drop those J-Bombs.
cjl922 17
Fill buckets with your ****, get a helicopter, and dump them occasionally
Bigus1234 6
That takes some balls!
bigdaddyeric 36
Has he got you yet?