Intimacy: Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 20:14 - Poland - Polska

Spicy

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 605

You deserved it 5 612

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 21:42 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 859

You deserved it 32 950

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 23:01 - United States - Parkersburg

Spicy

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 741

You deserved it 3 075

Rude awakening

By Alex - 22/02/2022 00:01

Spicy

Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 237

Stop, please stop

By yuck - 05/06/2015 19:11

Spicy

Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 461

You deserved it 4 207

Coinkydink

By zAstonish - 28/11/2019 14:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Spicy

Today, I realized that my brother is one of those people who comment on porn. I found out about it because he commented on my video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 2 691

Privacy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:00 - Australia - Brighton

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 936

You deserved it 268

Pissed

By holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 084

You deserved it 33 455

Horrific misdirection

By Anonymous - 15/03/2025 14:00 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Spicy

Today, my brother sent me a dick pic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 122

By Gross... - 16/08/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 641

You deserved it 3 277

That's that, then

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 656

You deserved it 219

Next

Top comments

larryb1986 9

Tuesday 4 June 2013 1:11

I would start walking around in a poncho and carrying an umbrella

FightMyLiger 19

Tuesday 4 June 2013 1:11

Poland always gets hit first by these global assaults. World War J is upon us!

Comments

bigdaddyeric 35

Sunday 14 January 2018 7:24

I’ll save the world and volunteer to take all that primo teen **** right now for mankind! Ready and waiting with all holes open and naked for your **** Boy!

James Thompson 8

Saturday 20 January 2018 6:41

The kid wants to be the next Peter North. It’s good to have ambition, even if it is a bit lofty.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I'm fasting for Lent. I'm a copywriter and my current client is a food company. I have to research about, and look at pictures of food all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 790

You deserved it 1 503

Today, I was feeling suicidal and needed to talk to someone about it, so I called up the only person in the world who cares about me: my mom. Or so I thought. Her immediate response was, “You should go ahead and end it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 737

You deserved it 148

Today, my girlfriend walked out on me because she realised she doesn’t love me enough to go through a second lockdown with me and our 2-year-old daughter FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 116

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 071

You deserved it 41 858

Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 16 843

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 519

You deserved it 8 217