Health: Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my... - FML

By blackchin III - 20/06/2014 21:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 680

You deserved it 4 678

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

Defeated

By K.O - 09/09/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, a fly landed on my ear. The suddenly loud buzzing noise scared me so badly that out of instinct, I punched the side of my head so hard that I actually made myself really dizzy. The worst part? I didn't kill the fly. Jackass fly: 1, Dumbass me: 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 529

Nutshot

By DanJames24 - 10/06/2021 21:01 - United Kingdom

Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 76

By Human fly - 21/04/2013 06:20 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 098

You deserved it 46 452

Freaked out

By The Buzzing - 28/07/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 150

Impressive

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 04:58

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 199

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 644

You deserved it 26 652

By apparentlyawomanbeater - 20/04/2012 21:48 - Switzerland - Cadempino

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 025

You deserved it 3 103

By liilii - 30/08/2014 16:40 - India - Trivandrum

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 699

You deserved it 6 696

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 835

You deserved it 29 328

By lacsmac2 - 01/11/2015 14:10 - Australia

Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 611

You deserved it 2 681

Next

Top comments

Maaska 16

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:33

If it was a spider this would've been justified

JBrownie123 24

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:34

Well... At least he didn't miss the fly!

Comments

Maaska 16

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:33

If it was a spider this would've been justified

dimple13194 10

Saturday 21 June 2014 1:13

Exactly

JJ_86 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 1:19

Did it "fly" by your mind that OP would still be knocked out and probably get allergic to spider insides smashed on the face?

Godsofdracos 15

Saturday 21 June 2014 2:27

Probably get allergic to spider insides being smashed on the face - that... That was so terrible... I laughed so hard.

incoherentrmblr 21

Saturday 21 June 2014 4:57

Two for one...

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:33

Sounds like a "pain"!

AlaskanG 27

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:36

You failed.

CockAsian 14

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:37

Was there supposed to be a pun involved in that?

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:37

Yes, and I thought it was pretty "punny"!

spatula232 25

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:51

Can you explain, I'm still trying to figure it out...

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:57

A pun a day keeps the flies away!

JJ_86 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 1:09

Keep on trying. You will get it right one day :). For now just get buried.

DocBastard 38

Saturday 21 June 2014 1:49

BassTurdo - You know that saying "If at first you don't succeed, try try again"? Yeah, ignore that and just stop.

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 4:23

More like "If at pun you don't punceed, pun again."

MisterEx 28

Saturday 21 June 2014 4:44

Until you get a pun-ch in the face.

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 4:46

Oh ya? Well pun pun pun, punning punasm.

Wizardo 33

Saturday 21 June 2014 7:58

This BassTurdo guy is literally like a fly. Buzzes around you and gets you annoyed, goes away until you don't notice and ******* comes back again... never seems to find the open window to piss of either.

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 23:10

As I like to say, that's puntastic! So are flies!

Metagame 12

Sunday 22 June 2014 5:59

Why is this amusing me so much?

BassTurdo 22

Sunday 22 June 2014 20:06

Well, maybe you think it's "punny!"

aimzskee 30

Monday 7 July 2014 4:12

Dude, please stop.

JBrownie123 24

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:34

Well... At least he didn't miss the fly!

toaster123 11

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:57

yeah, that's some talent.

sward44 9

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:34

just lookin out for ya haha

J215B 33

Saturday 21 June 2014 2:21

It's the thought that counts!

arrow007archer 19

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:36

At least he never hit you in the face with a bug zapper.

hetalia_thailand 20

Saturday 21 June 2014 3:11

I'd like to hear the adventure behind that.

FrietvanPiet 16

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:36

2 birds with 1 stone!

c_aeki 4

Saturday 21 June 2014 19:04

Hey, where are you from?

Sebastian2022 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:37

You gotta take for the team sometimes...

PapaSmash 14

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:37

Wake up *heyy sis, least it's gone!*

spatula232 25

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:37

What a douchebag...

Tylerpls 5

Saturday 21 June 2014 0:41

Atleast the fly is gone

Keywords

Dentist Health Ironic Coworkers Work Annoying Miscellaneous Relatable Grandparents Awkward Love Food Animals Insects Public freakouts Fear Family Bullying Suspicious Relationship advice Embarrassing Neighbours Anniversary AITA Gamers Allergies Vegan Cooking Sex Intimacy

The Top

Today, I received a package addressed to my husband. I thought it was a surprise gift for me, so I excitedly opened it. It turned out to be a 3-foot tall realistic-looking penguin. Confused, I asked him about it. He sheepishly admitted he'd bought it to scare off the neighbor's cat, who's been using our garden as a litter tray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 570

Today, I woke up to a note on my nightstand from my fiancée, along with the ring I proposed to her with yesterday, which stated that not only was she not ready to be married, but she’d been planning to end things before I “blindsided" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 595

You deserved it 475

The Top

Today, I asked a girl from Bumble for a full body pic. She was obese, so I told her it wasn’t gonna work. She then sent a video of her in real time looking slim and told me that picture was from when she was obese, and she'd sent that picture as a “test of my character” and she’s “better off without someone so judgy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 1 208

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 185

You deserved it 3 805

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 058

You deserved it 2 216

Today, I came home to yet another kitten. My girlfriend swore to me this would never happen again. When I reminded her of her promise, she told me the kitten will be staying, and she wants me to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 904

You deserved it 1 136

Today, I'm being ghosted by someone who said they wanted to meet up, but never texted me. She could've just said she wasn't interested, but instead we made plans. She kept writing back, saying how excited she was to meet me, and then I never heard from her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 77

Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 269

You deserved it 19 425