Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
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Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
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Top comments
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
Boyfriend Win, simply put.
okieraider71 4
All that evil needs to win the day is for men of good character to do nothing. All hail the great penis.
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Comments (387)
youthink_fml 0
YDI. Women love dating assholes and little boys then love complaining that they're assholes or little boys. At the same time OP, go buy a sense of humor.
Kartor 6
'lower' lip? there is no lower lip...unless he was going down sideways? noob
tencentsakiss 19
no those can be called lips
butterflyhearts 0
OP ment her lips down "below". Thats all she was indicating. Not that her bf grabbed one lip and it was the bottom one, but that he grabbed her ****** which she called LIPS but had to use the word "below" so we would understand the FML. Since their are 2 pairs of lips on a womans body. Do you understand now? Pleasee read the FML well before posting pathetic critical comments to the OP. kthxbai
imagineapc 11
Actually he grabbed her Labia... which are often times called Lips... the ****** is the opening that the penis goes into. Durr.
cadburyegg 0
Psst- "Labia," is latin for, "lips." ;)
donicus 0
lucky you, so STFU,
loriaking18 0
uhhhh! NO! I would be laughing so hard no sex would happen
antoinemartinez 0
haha that's great
Gummibearlove 0
haha! that could be awkward, but funny.
swagginMark 0
they shuld put u 2 in the next EPIC MOVIE or a sex scene watevah feels betta!!haha!! penis win!!haha
jessicaheartsyou 0
hawt
pr_playa 0
That is great!!!
LadyAshley 0
OP stop being a humorless bitch. Your boyfriend was being funny as hell. Damn, I'm sick and throwing up and I still laughed when I read that! Laugh a little OP
loski87 4
lmao that's a mood killer