Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
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Top comments
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
Boyfriend Win, simply put.
okieraider71 4
All that evil needs to win the day is for men of good character to do nothing. All hail the great penis.
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Comments (387)
anjewsauras 0
coolest guy ever
okieraider71 4
All that evil needs to win the day is for men of good character to do nothing. All hail the great penis.
snagglepaste 0
only our own though otherwise that's gay!
DjeePee 25
He's cool.
Basballplaya16 4
all I can say is wow. that's funny though.
penizulaface 0
... mine are so small i cant even move them :/ MY ****** IS TOO FLAT.
FreddyMustDie 0
Thanks for sharing. Anyway, alot of girls envy that
FreddyMustDie 0
Thanks for sharing. Anyway, alot of girls envy that
FMyLifeCereal 0
I'll be the judge of that.
luvtruckguy 0
that's hard to find.. A lot of guys would love that.
penizulaface 0
sorry if it is too much information. i dont care if guys like it, i dont want a FREAK ******.
rockhound 0
trust me peninzula, that's a good thing. a freak vag is one that can be grabbed to simulate a talking motion. you're fine.
Talented1_fml 0
hey 91, The Dr says you need a good pounding from the great penis. if it doesn't fix your problem the first time.... reapply until it does
imagineapc 11
Um, you're stupid. No two vaginas are alike, just like no two penises are alike, just like EVERYONE has a different preference in what they like or dislike about sex. Watch the movie "Kinsey" with Liam Neeson, and stop bitching.
griddy24 18
Huge variety of vulvas, obviously, but people will always find some stupid random think to try and shame you with. ie teenagers who have 0-1 vaginas before. We’re insanely hard on women’s bodies.
kayleigh115 0
super epic win!
Stevefett 0
26-where are your hips? Weird.
sosoinlove09 0
lol that's wrong. not everyone is blessed with hips
tencentsakiss 19
it's true. me neither.
angreen21 0
hahahahahahha! (:
LilAfo 4
Steve, where's your face? (:
semodrunk 0
he was prolly tryin 2 pull a slick 1 2 get outta eating ur vag... but yeah he coulda done a better job
jockopetedawg 0
CLASSIC!!!
keekah 0
This is not an FML. Get a sense of humor.
Stevefett 0
Maybe your labia are huge!!