By Anonymous - 24/01/2014 00:10 - United States - Birmingham

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML
I agree, your life sucks 46 821
You deserved it 25 818

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Top comments

Bluetooth or no Bluetooth, thats a stupid-ass joke.

ktiskool 18

You're gonna be getting some Hellman's.

Comments

You two are the reason aliens won't talk to us

It's L! How's life since you died in death note? ( #1's icon) ( I'm ready for the thumbs)

Dying apparently did a number on his brain.

By thumbs I meant thumbs down. #55 Apparently so.

Dunno about down. I thought it was funny.

49, I've been abducted by aliens before. No wait... I meant Allen. He did things to me :(

49, you're the reason I wish I could favourite a comment.

Whats up with the 5ML?

I just saw that FML is 5 years old today, so Im going to guess thats why.

#1 I love your picture just had to say

Bluetooth or no Bluetooth, thats a stupid-ass joke.

True that!!

SuckMeBeautifu1 24

@2 Lighten up prude.

Guess his mayo comes in those small little packets >.>

Well #25 apparently thought it was funny. Small things for small minds.

SuckMeBeautifu1 24

@57 So come up with a better joke about mayonnaise then , champ. Without googling it

Wrong place

SoapTurtle 7

whats a ass joke.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Seriously!? The whole "Girlfriends and sandwiches" thing is so stupid!

SuckMeBeautifu1 24

@22 Thats why its funny. If you're taking it seriously then you are the one who is stupid ;l

The only reason I take it seriously is because I don't put up with that sexist crap. Forgive me for just giving a damn. But then again, I'm writing to the same guy that pulled that cleavage comment.

SuckMeBeautifu1 24

@30 You seriously think that when a guy refers to the sandwich joke he actually means it as some sort of sexist statement? Its a joke you retard, and so was the other comment you referred to. If anything that other one was sexist against men, because it was implying that her boss was stereotypically sleazy. Stop confusing humor with seriousness.

@30 Just lighten up man. It's just an innocent, albeit not exactly hilarious joke.

Nohman didn't call anyone a name like retard or anything and SuckMeBeautu1 didn't say he was innocently funny. Either way, people should lighten up, jokes aren't meant to be taken seriously.

Nohman didn't call me a retard, SuckMeBeautifu1 did.

Bluetooth can make situations awkward. Speaking from personal experience.

ktiskool 18

You're gonna be getting some Hellman's.

This is why you use real phones.

Yeah man, gotta hate those fake phones, they don't seem to work as well!

Exactly. Those banana phones don't work at ALL!

Ring, ring, ring, ring, BANANA PHONE!

Aligator67 12

#63 You just ruined the jokes.

Who knows, maybe her dad didn't even hear you. It was a lame joke anyway.

That mayo-pen awkward conversations with her dad later.

You mayo leave now.

That mayo been the worst pun I've see so far. I approve.

62, go to Hell-mann's!

ZY1431 24

ahh well, that's a tough one to explain later.

Was that supposed to be funny or sexy? To be clear it's neither..

More corny I think. "Hey honey, want to make some sandwiches? (; I have some Hellmans made fresh in the bedroom..."