By Asha Toone - 31/1/2021 08:02

Tough times

Today, I started noticing how unnecessarily hard it is to get a basic job such as a cashier or server, even though you already have experience in that field. FML

I agree, your life sucks

705

You deserved it

70

Tweet

Share

There's no helping some people

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Oh, hai!

By tylah - United States - Piscataway

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27135

You deserved it

3010

Tweet

Share

By nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31576

You deserved it

8749

Tweet

Share

By screamer - United States - Paso Robles

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14891

You deserved it

38273

Tweet

Share

By all shat out - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33490

You deserved it

4188

Tweet

Share

By Bernadette

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11130

You deserved it

30517

Tweet

Share

By novapine - United States - Staffordsville

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43396

You deserved it

4015

Tweet

Share

By JMG - United States

Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33214

You deserved it

2881

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33253

You deserved it

4334

Tweet

Share

By prochainefois - France - Paris

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62223

You deserved it

6880

Tweet

Share

By storksleuth - United States

Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34816

You deserved it

5550

Tweet

Share

By Sleep. - United States - Imperial

Today, I finally got time to take a nap. Later, my mom asked me if I was depressed because I didn't leave my room for 3 hours. She talked to my dad about it, and now my family thinks I'm depressed because I slept for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34408

You deserved it

2740

Tweet

Share

By cockblockingbitch - United States

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50054

You deserved it

3959

Tweet

Share

By Hopeless - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying “woah no thanks”. I get rejected even in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2427

You deserved it

261

Tweet

Share

By got to be kidding me - United States - Cape Coral

Today, my eight-year-old daughter refused to use the port-a-potty at the fair. She preferred to piss her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1924

You deserved it

264

Tweet

Share

By Caz

Today, I got on the Megabus for a 6-hour journey from London to Plymouth. I then realised I'd forgotten to fill up my water bottle and charge my iPod. It's a fully packed, sweaty hot loud coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2274

You deserved it

1279

Tweet

Share

By JulleandCici - France

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35527

You deserved it

4917

Tweet

Share

By hannaholic - United States

Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came, "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married." FML

I agree, your life sucks

60401

You deserved it

4896

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26007

You deserved it

2245

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/1/2021 08:01

Family matters

Today, like every other day, my dad thinks my sister is autistic and needs therapy. He wants me to think that too. I'm pretty sure she is just introverted and hates our family. I wonder why. FML

I agree, your life sucks

840

You deserved it

64

Tweet

Share

By Strainer - United States - San Francisco

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28474

You deserved it

5964

Tweet

Share

By LaLa - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36563

You deserved it

7814

Tweet

Share

By Anon - United States

Today, I messaged my sister on Facebook chat. We always start our conversations with "HEY SLUT" or "HEY WHORE" etc. It wasn't my sister. However, her boyfriend's mom has a great first impression of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11038

You deserved it

27045

Tweet

Share

By Richocet - Canada

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22110

You deserved it

36246

Tweet

Share

By figgy - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30191

You deserved it

6071

Tweet

Share

By Heavybreather - United States - Athens

Weak

Today, after climbing 5 flights of stairs I walked into the restroom to take a piss. I was winded but trying to keep my heavy breathing to a minimum. My plan failed when I almost fainted inbetween two guys at the urinal and started gasping for air. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5807

You deserved it

1100

Tweet

Share

By Muina - Morocco - Mekn?s

Today, I got mugged for my phone. I stupidly offered to give the guy my money if he'd let me keep my phone. He took both. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14095

You deserved it

23989

Tweet

Share

By Eduardo - 18/4/2021 20:00

Hard no

Today, my 30-year old cousin, who is unemployed, parasitic and never completed high-school, whose girlfriend is a crack addict, wants to move into my place. He was evicted from an apartment building two weeks ago for assaulting some neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1032

You deserved it

66

Tweet

Share

By bruised - United States - Novi

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23701

You deserved it

3013

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Not a biology major

Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1586

You deserved it

251

Tweet

Share

By TKDConnor92 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a 7 year old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31590

You deserved it

6696

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

They Do.

Today, my boyfriend told me he would be really disappointed if we had kids before we got married, because it would ruin our plans to go to Disney World for our honeymoon. Apparently, kids ruin vacations. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1114

You deserved it

1000

Tweet

Share

By Zit-Blues - United States

Today, I had a large pimple on my temple. I decided to try the whole "put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up" technique that all the magazines say to do. Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritated my skin and my already large pimple now appears three times bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27005

You deserved it

8024

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/7/2020 08:01

Missed opportunities

Today, I turned down a chance to go to a bar with a girl I like because I have an autoimmune disorder and don't want to get sick because of being irresponsible and obviously COVID 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1672

You deserved it

232

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1859

You deserved it

110

Tweet

Share

By noiguessitsbroken :( - Lithuania - Kaunas

Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50625

You deserved it

4825

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Croatia

Family values

Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1564

You deserved it

567

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16384

You deserved it

42912

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Sharing is caring

Today, nine months after changing my entire life when my father had a stroke and I became his carer full time, I called my sister to talk about some his irrational behavior. All I got in response was, "I just watched a sad movie, I can't deal with this right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1717

You deserved it

97

Tweet

Share

By Natasha - United States - Seattle

Today, I got so desperate for cash that I decided to start selling my used panties online. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25629

You deserved it

7223

Tweet

Share

By thecasbah - Norway

Today, I quit my job as a barista for one of our competitors with a couple of bucks more an hour. Two hours after I'd handed in my resignation, my boss approached me just to let me know that if I hadn't resigned, I would've been offered my own café. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18712

You deserved it

33661

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By red6joker | 7

#7968393 - Sunday 31 January 2021 15:51

Yes it's flooded right now with others trying to find some kind of work also.

COMMENTS

By red6joker | 7

#7968393 - Sunday 31 January 2021 15:51

Yes it's flooded right now with others trying to find some kind of work also.