Love: Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my...

By badboyfriend101 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML

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Love

There's no helping some people

Messed up

The ole answer/forward conundrum

By brebre101 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML

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By bpruitt95 - United States - Pitkin

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

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By I-Love-My-Wife - 14/1/2021 10:56

My booze

Today, it's my wife's birthday. She also sleepwalks, sleep eats and sleep drinks. This morning, her subconscious remembered it was her birthday and wanted to celebrate in style. I found my $200 bottle of Johnny Walker Blue was missing 3". She doesn't remember drinking it. I'm so glad she enjoyed it. FML

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By sydstreet - United States - Arlington

Today, my anxiety was so bad that when I was riding my bike on the side walk and two pedestrians came walking in the opposite direction, I got so nervous about having to go between them or accidentally hitting them that I fell off my bike, into a bush. FML

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By anugla - United States

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

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By Teresa - United States

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

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By Charles - United States

Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML

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By gassy - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

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By CasperTheFriendlyGhost - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML

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By Pang

Today was the last my last day of high school ever, to celebrate me and my friends were going to go into the city and hang out for a bit. I missed the bus they caught into the city so I caught the next one, when I got there I asked where they were. They didn't respond. FML

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By ANON - United Kingdom - London

Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML

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By Username - France

Today, I was making my bed, which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

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By Marleck - United States

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

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By Bonapp - France

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

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By Tyler - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

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By p - Canada - Markham

Today, I had a piano exam. My friend noticed how nervous I was, and recommended that I compliment the examiner for higher marks. When it was time for the exam, without thinking, I told him I liked his hair. Turns out bald people don't like that. FML

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By TMI - United States

Today, I was opening and sorting mail for my boss as part of my job. One package was delivered to the office instead of his home by mistake, since his house is next door on the same property. I didn't notice until I had opened it. I had to hand my boss an opened box of toys. Kinky ones. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Meridian

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

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By Poly24 - France - La Courneuve

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

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By sofakingweetodit - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

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By SebastianMiko - Canada - Calgary

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

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By pornhastaughtmenothing - United States - Tacoma

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

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By aurora320 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, when confronting my boyfriend about slapping a girl's ass in the club, he claimed: "There was a mosquito on it." FML

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By Pip - United States

Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my dad got over his aversion to tight pants, giving everyone at the DMV a good look at his package in skin-tight blue jeans. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, after 6 months abroad, I finally got home to the airport at 5 a.m. where my parents were supposed to be picking me up. I called my mother to let her know I'd landed. She picked up with a sleepy voice and asked, "Who is this?" I'm an only child and we live 2 hours away from the airport. FML

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By kdmoney - United States

Today, my mother said I am slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution: buying me a vibrator. FML

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By meee - United States

Today, I noticed there was a red truck following me. I walked as fast as I could. I then ran. It followed. I slipped on some ice and fell. I was unable to get up. It stopped beside me and the driver got out. I then said hello to my husband's new car. FML

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By rhcp007 - United Kingdom - Potters Bar

Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML

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By Anonymous - Sweden - Falk?ping

Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML

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By magicman - United States

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

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By Lisa

Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML

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By WiltedFlower - United States

Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML

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By thatguythere858 - United States

Today, I woke up with a foul stench forcing its way up my nostrils. It turns out our septic tank broke, and is now leaking into our backyard, and sadly, our basement. I live in the basement. FML

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By LegallyBored - Canada - Regina

Today, my roommate went away for the weekend so she could hook up with a guy from Tinder that she's never met. This wouldn't be a problem if we hadn't already made plans for my 18th birthday, which is also today. Here's to a night of Netflix with my dog. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML

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By RickTheBoy - Canada - Toronto

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

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Top comments

By pancakelover | 0

#192569 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:03

Perfume can smell different on different people... Don't worry, unless he starts flirting with your friend or trying to hook up with her.

By gsfgf | 0

#192586 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:06

maybe he though she smelled sexy because she smelled like you.

COMMENTS

By pancakelover | 0

#192569 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:03

Perfume can smell different on different people... Don't worry, unless he starts flirting with your friend or trying to hook up with her.

Averizzle | 0

#835952 - Tuesday 9 February 2010 0:29

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

midorihoneybucke | 0

#919296 - Saturday 6 March 2010 19:17

fml, i had to read this piece of crap

ReyEr9412 | 0

#930855 - Wednesday 10 March 2010 2:33

Ones like these make the case for a "not an FML" button.

By oohbeads | 0

#192572 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:04

It could have to do with the way that your body's smell reacts to the perfume... Maybe he likes the way her body's smell reacts to the perfume better.

By gsfgf | 0

#192586 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:06

maybe he though she smelled sexy because she smelled like you.

By above_the_birds | 0

#192625 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:11

Yeah, it should be fine, like #1 said. Just maybe keep an eye on him; if he starts HITTING ON your best friend, then come back and post another FML. :D

By 2200dtn | 0

#192638 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:14

He's gonna hump her like a rabbit.

By shameonmedude | 0

#192642 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:14

Is it D&G light blue? that shit smells so gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!

By chasing_adalia | 0

#192663 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:16

Then I recommend telling him, "Oh sweetie, that sounds FABULOUS. I'll wear it if you go pick me up a bottle..." Next bottle of perfume that you know you love is on him! Haha.

By redbluegreen | 40

#192671 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:17

Why is your boyfriend smelling other girls? Especially your best friend.

LissaMccracken | 23

#5546156 - Saturday 22 June 2013 4:44

No, why is he smelling someone at all. I mean if you smell is strong and you notice it, that's fine... But just smelling someone is kinda weird

By cs68507 | 0

#192674 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:19

Maybe you aren't putting on enough and/or not in the right places. There are some girls who know how to make perfume stay on them all day. Then there are some who put it on and it disappears.

By Loe_307 | 0

#192682 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:20

Could also be the amount you wear but probably like others have said, the reaction. Of course if you don't take a shower and toss on some perfume, that's not gonna work out too well. :P