Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML
Today, after I tried to break up with my boyfriend, he said he won't give up on us and asked me to go to therapy. According to him, “You might need medication for how you feel.” FML
Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML
Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years who I helped through drug rehab and find employment in my office left me for someone else. His explanation was that now that his "head is not clouded with chemicals" and he "makes decent money", he wants to settle down with someone worthy of him. FML
Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 6 months because I told him I loved him. Not because he felt any different than I did, but because the term "love" should be reserved for God, and not be said to mortals. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, I realized that although I'm dating the most loveable, caring and genuine man, the fact that he's a crack addict means I'll never be his drug of choice when he needs a hit. FML
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Top comments
Carbonation 0
The refills probably costed too much.
BeefyQueef 5
Ha that's a good one. I'll have to remember that
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Comments (121)
sjhill 32
I'm sorry, I know this will probably sound horrible...but it's actually quite a good line.
LennyComa 39
Omg that is genius....sorry for you but still...thats awesome
jakiepooh 6
Nerd.
supahcoolperson 0
Anddddd that's when you start balling your eyes out
PatrinaMarie 0
Wow, that was creative....
AnagenisisZagus 13
Smooth. You were already crying, now you don't have to start. I see his strategy.
UsEumYong 4
Maybe you can find someone else to snort you before Christmas? :D
DaMan25 4
Hahaha sucks
BighornB 0
That's classic!
Dcm210 19
what an asshole.