Love: Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got... - FML

05/05/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 224

Age difference

There's no helping some people

Empathy lives

24/08/2019 14:00

Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 83

09/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 666

You deserved it 2 549

23/07/2009 05:23 - Mexico

Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 863

You deserved it 9 605

12/08/2011 07:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 424

You deserved it 3 094

16/09/2018 03:30

Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the 3rd time." I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 943

You deserved it 188

22/07/2009 21:09 - Canada

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 531

You deserved it 5 699

31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 111

You deserved it 4 187

07/02/2015 02:35 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 343

You deserved it 3 060

07/08/2019 20:00

Today, I drooled on myself during a job interview and was immediately dismissed. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 528

25/12/2010 04:59 - United States

Today, I went to my long-distance boyfriend's party. His best friend was talking to me and trying to make conversation, he asked, "So, are you two official?" I responded with a definite yes, but was cut off mid-word by my boyfriend, who quickly said, "No, not really." Sorry, I wasn't aware, darling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 391

You deserved it 4 337

29/01/2017 16:00 - Germany - Heidelberg

Today, I politely asked our overweight neighbour to park on her side of the garage. Three unsuccessful tries later, she drives out and parks on the street in a huff, and I'm now the world's biggest bastard because she can't legally park on her side and still open her door due to her size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 342

You deserved it 714

14/04/2015 08:33 - United States - Burlington

Spicy

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 653

You deserved it 4 052

17/03/2010 16:59 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 482

You deserved it 5 643

22/06/2019 18:02

Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 542

You deserved it 125

05/07/2014 05:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 051

You deserved it 4 217

10/05/2013 08:24 - United States

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 540

You deserved it 3 506

18/02/2018 01:30

Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 326

You deserved it 5 473

23/05/2013 13:45 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 516

You deserved it 4 284

Hoarders Gonna Hoard

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 18:30

Today, I was helping my uncle clean his house. He's a bit of a hoarder, so I suggested donating some of his pots. We got into a fight and I left. He then called my mom to claim that I stole his pots. After being yelled at he realized that they were in his dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 729

You deserved it 154

04/05/2017 06:00 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, while checking the men's bathroom at work, I noticed one of the air fresheners had fallen from the top of the paper towel holder into the garbage. It wasn't until I picked it up and examined it that I realized I was actually holding used urinal fresheners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 370

You deserved it 1 550

08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 000

You deserved it 6 656

11/10/2015 11:45 - Australia - Truganina

Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 065

You deserved it 46 469

03/09/2012 08:39 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 990

You deserved it 2 199

Skyped out

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 21:30

Today, I had one minute to go before a team meeting from my work, a blackout occurred in my block. The outage lasted an hour. The meeting was about 40 minutes long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 55

20/12/2009 19:57 - Canada

Spicy

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 910

You deserved it 5 890

15/02/2016 17:04 - United States - Athena

Today, the car across the street has been broken into so many times that my parrot has started to mimic its car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 861

You deserved it 1 714

07/06/2015 04:21 - New Zealand - Tauranga

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 138

You deserved it 3 375

07/06/2013 19:32 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 594

You deserved it 5 511

I'm sitting right here

By Anonymous - 24/09/2019 06:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got my nails done at a salon where everyone working there was Vietnamese. During my manicure, the manicurists talked about how ugly I was in their native tongue. They couldn't have known that I'd lived in Vietnam and I'm fluent in Vietnamese, but too chickenshit to speak up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 523

19/04/2015 01:03 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 629

You deserved it 3 386

30/10/2010 13:40 - France

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 737

You deserved it 8 862

05/03/2013 12:20 - United Kingdom - Worcester

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 385

You deserved it 3 248

21/09/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 665

You deserved it 2 732

Birthday Girl

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412 418

You deserved it 21 706

06/06/2009 05:51 - United States

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 986

You deserved it 5 413

Bobs and vagene

By analeis - 25/03/2012 18:04 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Spicy

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 799

You deserved it 29 442

05/03/2011 15:46 - China

Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 658

You deserved it 8 839

17/10/2013 05:06 - United States - Clovis

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 572

You deserved it 4 277

04/09/2016 05:04 - United States - La Place

Today, after not hanging out with anyone the whole year, a guy finally asked me to go the movies with him. When I asked what time, he said, "Never mind, I found another girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 513

You deserved it 964

08/10/2012 00:24 - United States - Bellevue

Spicy

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 975

You deserved it 13 918

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Top comments

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:31

This is why you don't keep nude photos of your girlfriend. You look and then delete that shit.

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:24

Wow.... why would you even be stupid enough to leave a nude picture of your gf on your phone without locking it? You totally deserved this.

Comments

Send a private message

Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:24

Wow.... why would you even be stupid enough to leave a nude picture of your gf on your phone without locking it? You totally deserved this.

omg_thats_funny 0

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Thursday 24 June 2010 8:53

it was in his pictures...you can either lock all your pictures or none.

Neko_Banshee 13

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Sunday 6 October 2013 4:48

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Monday 7 October 2013 1:25

I don't think they were going through his photos, it probably accidentally changed when her father touched the screen while grabbing the phone.

Eorlas 31

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Wednesday 9 October 2013 17:57

He couldn't lock it because he was showing a photo that was on his phone. He isn't an idiot, he was just unlucky.

cheshirecat13242 32

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Saturday 12 October 2013 3:29

Why would there be a picture of his cat immediately by a nude picture of her..?

fucMyLifeSoHard 18

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Sunday 20 October 2013 15:09

136- Actually there is an app where you can put certain pictures in a sort of vault and just lock those pictures. Forget what it's called, but I used it a lot.

Martinez0285 28

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Sunday 17 November 2013 2:46

It's called... Vault

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Thursday 10 July 2014 21:23

How the hell did number 137 get so many fucking negative votes that is not bad it's concern...

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:31

This is why you don't keep nude photos of your girlfriend. You look and then delete that shit.

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Wednesday 18 May 2011 4:02

then you can't fap to it later

Send a private message

Tuesday 28 June 2011 21:18

obviously you've never had a hot girlfriend before

DeadxManxWalking 27

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Monday 24 September 2012 23:41

Fucking email it to yourself.

Angel_of_Night 10

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Saturday 5 October 2013 18:30

Or you look, then upload to Dropbox, then delete.

connorgrant98 24

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Sunday 9 November 2014 21:59

Or get photo vault

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:32

That had to be awkward

HairyPunisher 27

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Wednesday 23 May 2012 20:49

Duh.

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Saturday 5 October 2013 18:29

I'm not sure who its more awkward for, OP, the dad or the girlfriend. That's just bad for everybody.

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:33

#1 .... read the post again, and if that doesn't answer your question... consider getting help. As to the OP... seriously... how old are you? If both you and your girlfriend are over 18, it's a fair bet her parents know you're doing the horizontal rumba anyway.

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Thursday 12 January 2012 7:32

16*

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Monday 21 October 2013 5:52

I think he meant locking it in a separate folder where it cant be easily accessed. And just because they know theyre old enough to be having sex doesn't mean they want to see a naked picture of their daughter on his phone. So you're an idiot pretty much and OP DI for letting that happen

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Friday 23 January 2015 7:38

Just because someone is over 18 doesn't mean they are having sex. I'm a 22 year old virgin with a two year boyfriend. It's a life style choice. I just wanted to correct #4 by saying not everyone is having sex.

Shadowflames420 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:35

well daddy knows it not gona be a white wedding!

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Monday 13 June 2011 3:36

just because she sends a pic fully naked doesn't mean she isn't a virgin

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Wednesday 1 May 2013 10:53

softball### (the poster above me) has a point BUT chick above me, are you seriously naive enough to think that she sends nudes and NOT put out?

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Tuesday 8 October 2013 2:26

me and my bf have both sent each other multiple nude photos and we're both still virgins...

prettygirlsonly 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:36

Oh! the technology! hahaha

mardigrasqueen 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:37

Well the pictures were both of pussy....

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Thursday 15 April 2010 5:11

hahaha ! win (:

criminalmind 10

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 3:13

I'd laugh if the dad said "now what kind of pussy is this?"

thajuggalo420 0

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Saturday 6 November 2010 15:50

hahahaha

scorpioserpent 1

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:37

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:39

#9 must have a really shit sex life if they think nude pics = slut...

wanderingidiot 0

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Tuesday 5 May 2009 20:40

awkward.......... so howd it go?

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 6

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, for the first time I had to lie to the man I intend to marry, because I had a very intense and hot dream about Leslie Nielsen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 44

Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 498