By Anonymous - 03/12/2014 18:34 - United States - Hartford
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#40, We don't really have much of a background story here. Maybe he didn't always do drugs? Maybe something horrible happened or he just met the wrong pack? Suggesting to run away and not put up a fight to win back the person OP loves most is silly. OP should only split the moment when negativity, caused by her BF and his addiction, starts to penetrate and affect her daily life. I used to date a guy who, after he came back from military service, started doing drugs. I tried everything, I fought hard, and eventually I left him after he had assured me that he would kill me, bathe in my blood, and then kill himself so we could be "together forever". Creeped the hell out of me. Leaving him was the right choice. Not even sure if he's still alive... I hope he's better now. Good luck, OP. Be strong.
#65, Because there have been a million of success stories. Obviously her BF isn't violent yet. If we all started giving up on somebody who's going through a rough time, what would mankind become then? I'm not suggesting she should stay with him and do nothing, but rather help him. If it doesn't work, she can still leave him. Trust me, there are always signs. Don't forget, even though he's an addict, she described him as if he was a gem. Like I say, no background story. We can't really judge here. Neither me nor you. No suggestion at this point is valid or invalid.
I personally don't see how the drugs won't affect her life. It might not be right away but it definitely will! The fact that he is spending so much money on them, probably going into debt for them or choosing to spend money on the drugs over food or rent money, he may want her money for them as well or if they have a joined income/bills than that's an issue. Then there's the emotional toll it will take. People are different when they are on drugs, he may be completely zoned out and spending a lot of his down time like that instead of spending it with her, or the drugs could make him anxious, depressed, violent etc, again all influencing her. And then there's the lies and stories that addicts tend to tell when they are on drugs, it's hard to trust them and expect any honesty. Personally, I would not even consider being with him unless he is trying to get off them and is going to go on some sort of rehab program. It's one thing to be with someone and support them as they try and get off those horrible drugs, it's another thing entirely to be with someone that takes them and has no plans to ever give them up. He will build up a tolerance and will want more which will only cost more money, make side effects greater and the risk of overdose that much higher. Don't stay with him Op unless he is trying to get clean.
Do not stay with him, unless he is actively trying to get better. Unfortunately, no one can force an addict to quit. He'll have to do it when he's ready, whenever he hits his personal rock bottom. It may be jail, a mental institute, the morgue OR it could be when he loses you and other people he cares about. I went through almost the exact situation with my ex husband. I stuck it out for a year after he started using. Worst year of my life and walking away was the best thing I've ever done. He was the most caring, amazing man I had ever known. He was a wonderful father and an even better husband, but cocaine killed the man I married. Even if he gets clean, he'll never be the man I used to know. Get out, OP!
Wouldn't "the most lovable, caring and genuine man" atleast try and beat his addiction?
You have it all wrong you don't date crack addicts you date guys like Chris Brown and Ray Rice you will definitely be their drug of choice when they need a hit
Why does CB always get chastised for what happened years ago! He was young and stupid, so was Rhianna. There are many celebs who have put their hands on women and go on like nothing happened and people forget. But people can't let go of CB's. Charlie Sheen & Christian Bale both put their paws on woman, Bale beat his sister.... But hey it's funnier if we just stick with Chris. #boybye