I don't think that he dumped you on valid grounds. Looks are not a basis for character unless you are Emily the Strange.

"Hi, I'm Emily's ex boyfriend. I'm stupid, idiotic, shallow, and I have a small penis." - is what he actually meant to say right?

Sucks that you wasted four years with him, but if he's that much of a douche bag you're clearly better off in the long run. Imagine what crap he'd be saying about you from day to day had you gotten married.

Immaturity at it's finest. OP dodged a bullet.

I don't understand. Every time a guy does something stupid, some one comments about him having a small penis. It makes no sense. How come when women do something stupid no one says "oh she's got small tits" or something?

What does that even have to do with the fml...

80 - I agree all the way. OP's ex is a loser without a doubt, but it's pathetic that the only legit insult women have against a gun is the small dick claim.

Agreed

I agree with you fully. Doesn't that technically mean that the girl has seen his penis before? XD

80- it's because when a girl does something wrong like that, she's called a whore or a slut, you can't call a guy that because it's not insulting to them, so you have to hit where it hurts and every man is sensitive about the size of his dick. Look how sensitive you got...

If I guy has a huge dick and he's confident about it, some girl calling it small isn't going to do anything. Especially when that girl is saying it as an act of revenge to the guy for being an ass.

Saying that he has an inadequate dick just reflects badly on her. She was settling for it for four years. On the other hand, she could have packed on a lot of weight during that four years which could make her face bloated and ugly. It was unkind how he put it to her, but it may have been true.

I hope OP adds #1's comment to the end of it and takes a picture and sends it to the ex before cleaning it off.

No, no, you've got it wrong. It's Emily who's the boyfriend.

EX-boyfriend

Well spotted.

You said it!! He's a jerk!

"Hello I'm Emily and I have a nice body, im beautiful and i don't need to date an asshole that isn't worth my time."

You're much better off without that asshole!

Yup, remember OP, he dated you for quite some time, there must have been something he found attractive about you.

If you can fit all that onto a mirror, using sharpie, and the previous message, then go ahead.... I would like to see you try to...

What the fuck kind of tiny mirrors do you have?!

And funny

41- your face is funny(looking)

Well, you gotta admit that it was a least a creative and well thought out method of breaking up.

I don't understand why some people think breaking up with someone should be creative. If you're going to do something nice, it can be creative, but not a breakup.

76 - Creative? Maybe. Well thought out? No way in hell. How is passive-aggressively breaking up with someone via a string of written insults the guy didn't even have the nerve to say to her face well thought out by any definition? Breaking up via text message would even be better than this, and that's already low.

That's not funny!

Hell yeah she should awesome idea! :)

That's actually a really ignorant idea. Grow up. Sorry OP but like others have said, you're better off without that dickless wimp.

Then you'll see them on Judge Judy.

Why do people think revenge is such a great idea? 2 wrongs don't make a right! Take the high road and spend some quality time getting happy again op.

But...but...revenge feels so good! (Though I will say 'eye for an eye' only works if the original incident is the only thing considered, getting revenge on revenge just leads to an endless feud.)

Which means any revenge can lead to a never-ending feud. Any revenge you take can be viewed as another revengable act to the other person. As stated previously, take the high road. It's not worth the time.

It's just like my sister. Her favorite comeback is "Shut up you big ugly fat brat!" I can't help but laugh.

Now you destroy his Xbox. ;)

It might make both of us assholes, but I laughed.

Make it three, then.

Four. We're all going to hell.

Six, enough room in that elevator?

Seven, I'm jamming that button for heaven

Eight, who do we appreciate?

Nine, this isn't looking real divine.

ten, im sorry op but see ya when your time comes :P

Or actually a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser might work the best.

I've heard that writing over the permanent marker with a dry-erase marker would allow it to just be wiped off the surface! Or maybe I'm just gullible...

43, its true.

Perfume does the trick! :)

43: You're not gullible. I've used that trick and it works. Sometimes you have to scribble over it and it can take a while...but it does work.

Hand sanitizer works wonder on permeant marker!

Rubbing alcohol is your friend when it comes to permanent markers - sharpie, etc. (I'm an illustrator, use them every day, and the only thing that gets it out well is rubbing alcohol - preferably a higher concentration if you can find it.)

I'd prolly just smash the mirror and buy a new one.... maybe even over douchebags' head???

no its true. my teacher tried it in front of the class and it worked

sounds to me like the sharpees aren't too high on her list of concerns atm

You can use Sharpies to write more than once...

Someone sounds like they've been getting high on sharpies. WTF are you talking about? xD

Sorry I left a bad comment :(