Small talk fail

By notapervert - 28/02/2013 07:57 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 969
You deserved it 39 632
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Top comments

newburton13 26

Well...considering the sex stories on this website, you are someone's dream.

297 4
zingline89 18

Yeah I accidentally blurted out the same thing once on a date. Except I was an accountant at the time so the mistake wasn't as easily explainable...

228 6

Comments

newburton13 26

Well...considering the sex stories on this website, you are someone's dream.

297 4
billyz77 24

But lately they've all been a bit too scatological for me.

4 14
jbsington 8

Someone's... wet dream?

21 0
lambda_fml 40

So OP is basically a Pussy Vet?

2 6
HowieDoIt 21

Let me tell you gyno woman wants to hear that kind of talk!

95 21
Blacksabbath211 9

Butt most women like a guy with a gyno-mite sense of humor. Just bad lucky, my friend.

10 33
Blacksabbath211 9

*But *bad luck

8 30
crazytwinsmom 25

I thought the 'butt' was an intentional pun.

101 4
trivel64 16

I guess it was punintentional.

80 4
Me1977 8

I think you might need to see a different gynecologist...

0 17
AH1Zviper 15

Some women love that stuff. Did you get lucky?

12 54
iAlissa 34

Because this is an FML, I don't think he got anything more than a weird look.

67 4
puzzle05 9

Tell me which woman actually likes going to the Gynecologist and getting probed by those duck clamps...

48 4
AH1Zviper 15

Let me reword my comment. " Some women love that stuff. Some don't. Most don't. They don't." Better?

24 5
emeraldisle 30

I don't think you should be telling that kind of joke on a first date.

184 3
jojimugo 20

Or the Second or third of you're lucky

23 1
TheElBurrrito 21

What gave that away, #4?

1 15
Schiffy 18

I'm sure that one ended in a good laugh..... assuming she didn't slap you and walk out.

10 33
BunchieRules 31

I would assume the latter, since this is an FML.

1 1
zingline89 18

Yeah I accidentally blurted out the same thing once on a date. Except I was an accountant at the time so the mistake wasn't as easily explainable...

228 6
Enslaved 36

Could have said, "I'm not a gynecologist but I'll still take a look! :P

27 8
perdix 29

#6, ratting them out to the IRS? That kind of fingering?

35 5
zingline89 18

No that would be ******* them.

75 4
sugarbear0727 19

That sucks. Just explain that you were nervous. It happens.

18 5
BadApple88 29

A sense of humor goes a long way

12 2
perdix 29

I'm sure your patients will be thrilled to know how you perceive your job. They pay you to get fingered when they can easily get that for nothing, plus get dinner and a movie out of the deal.

86 11
lilhellian 26

Only difference is, who has the choice to finger the blue waflle.

3 23
perdix 29

#12, that's why they get paid the big bucks. It sounds like a dream job until you realize that very few of your patients are going to come in shaved and waxed like a **** star. Not to mentioned the diseased hoo-hahs!

62 2
RedPillSucks 31

damn it prefix, you weren't supposed to mention that!!

5 21
TheRandomIndian 17

Prefix

35 5
Enslaved 36

Hey, most women I know shave before the gynecologist visit. Plus when she changes out of her street wear, she'll hide her undies under her clothing. God forbid the doctor know what type of panties she wears! (:

7 22
lilhellian 26

Don't worry 36 the doc won't tell everyone about your hello kitty pan.. I mean look a pie!

14 2
RedPillSucks 31

Prefix??? I blame autocorrect and my inattentiveness. Sorry Perdix

26 3
Enslaved 36

"She's my cherry pie Cool drink of water such a sweet surprise" **Stay focused, Doctor!

18 2
glittercookies 12

Hah! I hide my undies under my clothes during the appointment.

27 2
little_one 20

The look on the gyno's face when they see my metal is hilarious I once had a doctor nudge it and say "Soooo when did you get that?!?" I have a VCH you can choose to google it but I won't promise the pictures are pretty...

0 3
BellaBelle_fml 23

97; If even you don't find the pictures pretty then why did you get one?

4 1
fksfsdhfsdfh 26

Thats not very professional...

36 19
happle 21

I don't think dates are meant to be professional.

32 3
perdix 29

Well, there are people who date professionally: ******.

39 1