Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my stepdad is insisting that we either get rid of my dog or euthanize him because he bit me. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my boyfriend was arrested and might go to prison because he shot the guy who tried to kidnap his dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Philliesfan9391 3
Put your boyfriend down for violating your dog.
holeyman 8
Instead of getting a new dog, get a new boyfriend.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (230)
savmut 8
Your boyfriend's an ass. It's his fault he got injured.
skyeyez9 25
Never put a retarded bf before your dog. Your is a loyal companion and doesn't deserve a death sentence over your bf's stupid drunken behavior.
scottgeo 0
At least he got the right end and didnt try to stick his tongue up its ass.
guitarplayer546 0
The boyfriend should be the one put down.
Imgonnahaveabf 9
If you are going to agree and put your dog down, you are nothing better than a complete bootycall.
ElectricEffect 13
Gee, now did I know ever comment I'd read when opening this FML would be along the lines of "Don't kill the doggy, kill the bastard evil devil of a boyfriend!!" or "You're boyfriend is an alcoholic, dump him!". Come on, FML users. You're all like a really shrill broken record. For one, none of us no the history, or violent tendencies the dog may have. And two, we don't know the boyfriend is an alcoholic, just because it was stated he got drunk once. For all we know his girlfriend was just as drunk as he was laughing her ass off at the sight. On a final note. We know nothing about their relationship or how happy they are together, much less the seriousness and length of the relationship. Life is not as black and white as "break up" every time your significant other does something you dislike. Ignorance must truly be bliss. Some of you people make me wonder why I even read the comment section.
Iellwen 12
Dude, the boyfriend got drunk so bad he tried to french-kiss a DOG and when he got what he deserved for acting like a complete moron with a tendency towards zoophilia, he actually wanted to dog dead. How you cannot comprehend why most people (I'd say SANE people but you might find it offensive...) would dump the moron, I cannot comprehend. Comprende?
SamBaBam98 0
Wow what a douche bag
MCRaddict 0
tell ur bf he needs to stop getting drunk around animals
ForTheWin23 1
I didnt even vote about it thats. Just ****** awesome!!!!
sashapoptart 4
Dump your boyfriend; what kinda sucker gets that drunk anyways? "Hmm that golden hair looks just like my girlfriend's..."