Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my stepdad is insisting that we either get rid of my dog or euthanize him because he bit me. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my boyfriend was arrested and might go to prison because he shot the guy who tried to kidnap his dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
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Top comments
Philliesfan9391 3
Put your boyfriend down for violating your dog.
holeyman 8
Instead of getting a new dog, get a new boyfriend.
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Comments (230)
dragonballz_fml 3
**** you
bizarre_ftw 22
Tell him he should put the bottle down first! (oh, and that he's being an ass, which he is)
crystalou_fml 3
Omg you should dump your boyfriend. Or have HIM put down. I bet no one has thought to say that yet. I'm so clever. XD
AnimeZHell696 0
Tell your boy friend that the dog Was trying to kiss back it just doesn't have lips. Many he's stupid enough to believe you. Then dump him.
funblondnurse 1
He doesnt sound like the brightest crayon in the box Don't put the dog down. Put the boyfriend down
AllyCat23 9
That's when you tell him he should be put down for frenching your dog!
bvbarmyneverdies 0
ouch. drunks are stupid.
Angelrose2004 17
Keep in mind that he is your "boyfriend." Putting your dog down is no guarantee that he'll stick around forever. Where would you be if he broke up after you put your dog down? Don't make your puppy die because of his stupidity!
lulzmylife 4
Please, for the love of all that is good and sane in the world, tell me that you chose the dog over the boyfriend. What an idiotic ass.
Ecklcakes 15
Karma's a bitch.