Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my stepdad is insisting that we either get rid of my dog or euthanize him because he bit me. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my boyfriend was arrested and might go to prison because he shot the guy who tried to kidnap his dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
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Top comments
Philliesfan9391 3
Put your boyfriend down for violating your dog.
holeyman 8
Instead of getting a new dog, get a new boyfriend.
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Comments (230)
Tarak_fml 7
Put your boyfriend down?
The__Redneck 7
First, your boyfriend is a sick loser. Ditch him. Second, tell him that if he tries to have the dog put down, you'll make sure ~everyone~ knows exactly why, complete with name and picture.
Enigmax2514 7
I swear op, if you're that stupid and try to kill the dog, I will personally cut off your bf's tongue in his sleep, put it in yours, dislodge your brain (you won't be needing that now would you) and then set ur house on fire. And yes I value the life of an innocent dog more then that of a dumbass whom in his judgement thinks that it is wise to get drunk in the 1st place and decide to get intimate with a non-human. You guys got a ******* problem with that?
The__Redneck 7
Actually, no--but the law does. Like other posters have mentioned, if the sicko files a complaint, the dog is probably going to be put down.
Cigar 11
I believe that whether the dog is destroyed or not will largely depend on the breed of OP's dog. If the poor dog is a bully breed the media will have another field day and the dog will be killed. If it's a breed that the public is more comfortable with like a Retriever or a Spaniel the dog will be impounded and returned within a few days. In New Zealand some idiot tried to wrestle a dog down and yank its tongue. A Constable was quoted saying “It was not a pit bull or anything. It was an old dog; it has been around for a long time." and much of he world unfortunately shares that attitude.
BarrelChick 0
Oh honey...are you really that bad at kissin' that he resorted to a dog?I'm just kidding(: Don't kill your dog.Your boyfriend's a dumbass
chevylynnB87 2
Ummmm bc he's the dumb ass lol ummm I'd tell him to put hisself down what a looser
BlAzEtHiS 0
Its not the dogs fault. You should put your alcoholic boyfriend down
cyhiraeth_fml 10
When I was little (which was, granted, many years ago), a kid stuck a fork in the nose of my uncle's dog. Needless to say, the dog bit the kid (can you blame him?). The kid's father freaked out and filed charges, and the city ruled that the dog had to be "destroyed". So unfortunately, as unfair as it is, it does happen. :/
yomolandia 4
Wow, why do men do stupid things?
SadinSherman 16
At least he didn't kiss another girl
bizarre_ftw 22
But apparently he is attracted to flea bitten hairy bitches on all fours without clothes on..... Huh. Sounds like a fetish :/
07jeepster 0
Don't put the dog down. It's not the dogs fault...