Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my stepdad is insisting that we either get rid of my dog or euthanize him because he bit me. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my boyfriend was arrested and might go to prison because he shot the guy who tried to kidnap his dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
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Top comments
Philliesfan9391 3
Put your boyfriend down for violating your dog.
holeyman 8
Instead of getting a new dog, get a new boyfriend.
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Comments (230)
melodyrose331 2
maybe you should put your boyfriend down. what an idiot.
yankfan89 27
Dump the boyfriend and leave him with some advice that ********** is illegal
j_ortiz27 7
You should put your BF down.
Scenelord 0
So I'm just listening to the new Tdwp album and on FML and I see this and I laugh so hard that I knock my stereo system off my counter with the Tdwp album inside of it. And btw dump his stupid ass
Cigar 11
It won't be the first or last time that some moron sticks their face in a dog's face and ends up bleeding. A dog's mouth is used for defense, the same way we use our hands. The fact that he blames it all on your dog shows how ignorant he truly is, you're better off without him. Today's lesson: don't make out with dogs.
RedSharpieInk 5
Looks like dogs don't like to be french kissed by drunk guys...well, I wouldn't want that either
ayeitsrissa 0
Maybe your boyfriend should put the alcohol down instead of you putting the dog down
lionlvr 9
Don't get it put down. It's his fault he was drunk and tried to do that. :)
Tez122 6
ouch sucks for the bf
jetmarvinwelch 0
Ur bf needs to be put down, that's animal abuse