Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my stepdad is insisting that we either get rid of my dog or euthanize him because he bit me. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my boyfriend was arrested and might go to prison because he shot the guy who tried to kidnap his dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
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Top comments
Philliesfan9391 3
Put your boyfriend down for violating your dog.
holeyman 8
Instead of getting a new dog, get a new boyfriend.
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Comments (230)
bewareimannoyed 13
Sounds like op is going to choose the dog anyway... she said "he's insisting we have to" not "now we have to"
hyden121 2
The solution is simple. Just put them both down...
kit001 0
Great boyfriend material! NOT!
AngryBeaver32 8
Oh hell no. This would be a fml if your dog DIDN'T claw his face up. Get that man some mental help and give that dog some freshly cooked crispy bacon for a job well done.
aFreedom127 9
Is the dog a French poodle? Next time try doggie style.
taazer 12
Dont ever put down your dog..
gabriellemv 5
ugh, PLEASE don't let him talk you into it. dump the boyfriend before you dump the dog, in this damn case at least.
Dreadful87 4
Your dog is innocent! It's like being raped and then prosecuted because the guy was drunk. Keep your dog. I'd rather lose a jerk like that
1crabbygirl 10
This is *good* news; because you didn't marry the a** and you can get out of it.
Mackenzie99 6
You have one intelligent boyfriend... keep the dog ....