Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my stepdad is insisting that we either get rid of my dog or euthanize him because he bit me. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my boyfriend was arrested and might go to prison because he shot the guy who tried to kidnap his dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
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Top comments
Philliesfan9391 3
Put your boyfriend down for violating your dog.
holeyman 8
Instead of getting a new dog, get a new boyfriend.
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Comments (230)
RedPillSucks 33
I think he's just saying what he thinks will legally happen if the boyfriend pushes the issue. Sometimes the law will do stupid things.
ThatLooksSticky 16
Your boyfriend needs to put the bottle down.
RedPillSucks 33
Tell him to put some peanut butter on his ass and let the dog go for it. The dog was just shy before and thought he was moving too fast. If he buys it some dinner, and maybe take it to a movie, he'll be able to get to first base in no time.
every1luvsboners 11
I seriously doubt that anyone would consider euthanizing an animal because a drunk idiot attempted to force his tongue into it's mouth. That would be like me forcing my tongue into your mouth without your consent and then suing you when you punch me in my face. It's the same thing. It's called self-defense. The dog didn't know what his intentions were neither did you so you acted with your first instinct; which is to **** someone up.
laceyanneman 7
Nobody likes drunken weirdos in your face.I would have bit him too.
perdix 31
Hey, this is Wisconsin, among the drunkest states (sometimes the drunkest) in America. Our bubblers (aka water fountains) flow with beer and our baseball team is the Brewers. Dogs here have to get used to drunks. If they're erratic among sober people, that could be understandable.
DairyQueen13 0
Or he was just a bad kisser.
FYLDeep 26
Perdix speaks the truth. Wisconsin can out-drink whatever state you're from.
The__Redneck 7
--If they're erratic among sober people, that could be understandable.-- If dogs in Wisconsin are erratic around sober people, how would you know?
joxynn 2
Your boyfriend needs to learn that "woof" means "no".
Shadow_Phantom 26
It's your BFs fault, not the dog's. FYL, and I really hope you don't put the dog down.
Mourningstar 4
Sounds like you have a dumbass for a Bf, take the dog and elevate your taste in trolls! Lol
HumanWiki 8
He needs to be put down.
KVKdragon 26
Call animal control and have them pick up your BF. He's the one out of control