Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the dog my now ex-boyfriend and I own together bit me bad enough that I needed stitches on my face and my hand... he then broke up with me and saying it was all too much for him and has kept the dog... FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my stepdad is insisting that we either get rid of my dog or euthanize him because he bit me. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my boyfriend was arrested and might go to prison because he shot the guy who tried to kidnap his dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Philliesfan9391 3
Put your boyfriend down for violating your dog.
holeyman 8
Instead of getting a new dog, get a new boyfriend.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (230)
rattusrattus 19
Dogs also react badly to eye contact. Putting your face in a dog's face would probably lead to eye contact. On the plus side, now we know what happened to the crazy girl who posted that she made out with her husky on My Life Is Twilight. (apparently it looked like Jacob Black... personally I'd say she was better off kissing a llama but I'm not crazy)
Shawnie Gallant 24
That’s only if you don’t teach the dog that eye contact is good.
angelninja 0
DONT PUT THE PUPPY DOG DOWN - sorry I yelled
Anglwrfish 17
Keep the dog, get rid of the boyfriend. Eww.
mbrooks5110 0
Dump him.
Loda13 0
OMG I feel so sorry ....... For your dog.
sweetheartxoxo88 7
Sounds like your dog is a better judge of men than you are.
Residence_fml 4
Wow that is terrible! Dogs should be put down when they start attacking people but your dog was defending so he probably doesn't like your boyfriend a lot anymore but he won't attack him. Your boyfriend should stop whining, he got what he deserved and if he keeps insisting and you go with him, at least bring your dog to a dog shelter. To put an animal down for such a dumb human being would be a crime.
tayza249 20
The dog would still be put down if it was taken to an animal shelter and nobody adopted it. OP has no reason to get rid of her dog, it acted in self-defense when it felt threatened. If the dog had just attacked out of nowhere it would be a different story
Goodlife918975 6
All dogs attack on instinct like my jack russel I was petting her and she cut my hand open but we never put her down she's very territorial
miami_bb6 0
I say put your boyfriend down and give that nice doggy a treat :)
inpuredeceit 14
I can't give this enough thumbs up to do it justice.
Joey44 15
Tried to French kiss the dog? Wow. Just wow. There's something very seriously wrong with him, and if you even consider putting the dog down over this, there's something very seriously wrong with you, too.
Spazz420 7
Ya u should have the boyfriend put down