Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
Today, my grown up, unemployed boyfriend stole 70 dollars from my wallet and tried to hide it in two different places in case he needed to ditch me and go out by himself. He got angry when I confronted him and stormed out. He feels perfectly entitled. I work, pay rent and buy food. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML
Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
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Top comments
Ray_of_midnight 22
He might have kleptomania, but that's OK. He can always take something for it.
frozen92_fml 12
Watch out or he'll steal your heart.
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Comments (74)
olpally 32
Why Starbucks? They suck. Your bf is an idiot.
buttcramp 21
Starbucks has it's yummy things.. and they are laughing all the way to the bank, I bet.
cryssycakesx3 22
yummy... what a stupid word.
Hiimhaileypotter 52
#42- All of your comments I've seen on this FML have been written with an obvious bad attitute. Chill out and try to enjoy life and stop being so uptight on what's meant to be a humorous site.
buttcramp 21
a stupid word would be like "twerk" or "hashtag" lol
ChelzTheWolfGirl 29
Okay maybe I haven't been to Starbucks often enough, but I'm really wondering what you could possibly steal from there. Like, "oh snap! He stole that coffee cup lid outta the trash!" *Gasp!* Because that's all I got. Correct me if I'm wrong though.
buttcramp 21
you could steal various edible goods in the cooler at the register, candies on display at the register, the tip jar, someone else's beverage, any of the mugs, travel mugs, instant coffee, coffee grounds, coffee beans and other stuff on display for purchase.. also the welcome mat, toilet paper from the bathroom, the list could go on but I think you get the idea.
soup_of_the_day 10
Location, location, location. Hopefully he is smarter than this fml implies or OP better run from that one!
VampOfSavannah 31
Coffee is expensive. If he's an avid coffee drinker (and shoplifter) it'd make sense for him to steal some.
Ray_of_midnight 22
If people really do have kleptomania--an irresistible compulsion to steal stuff, motivated by mental illness rather than personal gain--then what they steal doesn't matter, it only matters that they stole something. The thing can be something of trivial value that they can easily pay for, like a $1 candy bar or something.
xblaine 17
He was just using his 5 finger discount.
DeeTrain420 11
LMFAO!!!
Gityerchicken 12
Lol my husband stole a dunkin donuts mug for me!
gracehi 31
Dump him. It's only a matter of time before he starts stealing from you. I know from personal experience.
cryssycakesx3 22
shoplifting and stealing are wayyy different.
Godsofdracos 15
Really 43?? Because if I remember correctly, shoplifting is the art of stealing from a shop. Maybe you should read up on what you're commenting on before you decide to make a fool of yourself.
smokecloud_ 37
I'm fairly positive shoplifting IS stealing.
angelicdevil 16
43....you need a dictionary. they are the same.
DanielleinDC 33
Uh, no, they aren't. The only difference is from whom you're stealing. You're not OP's boyfriend, are you?
iloveyouforev92 8
Are you dumb? Shoplifting is stealing. Almost anything related to taking a product from a store without paying for it is stealing. Besides the free samples.
how_to_implode 17
I feel like that's one of the worse places to shoplift if your goal is to not get caught. What a sad and uncomfortable way for you to find out. =/