Love: Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his... - FML

By lbailey32 - 04/02/2014 01:30 - United States - Seneca Falls

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 287

You deserved it 4 467

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Born to run

By Ipickthegoodones - 26/06/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 208

You deserved it 6 633

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 626

You deserved it 5 904

By ROLLY - 03/03/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 538

You deserved it 3 919

By Anonymous - 09/02/2014 19:00 - United States - Lowell

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 647

You deserved it 5 427

Are you new?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 02:28 - United States - Lakewood

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 746

You deserved it 2 520

By Anonymous - 15/06/2015 02:40 - United States

Today, my grown up, unemployed boyfriend stole 70 dollars from my wallet and tried to hide it in two different places in case he needed to ditch me and go out by himself. He got angry when I confronted him and stormed out. He feels perfectly entitled. I work, pay rent and buy food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 416

You deserved it 7 151

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 916

You deserved it 16 293

By katie_sadface - 15/10/2012 02:19 - Canada

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 295

You deserved it 2 999

The cat's out of the bag

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 342

By nocat6 - 15/09/2014 03:07 - United States - Northville

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 3 061

Next

Top comments

Ray_of_midnight 22

Tuesday 4 February 2014 5:50

He might have kleptomania, but that's OK. He can always take something for it.

frozen92_fml 12

Tuesday 4 February 2014 5:48

Watch out or he'll steal your heart.

Comments

ChelzTheWolfGirl 29

Tuesday 4 February 2014 22:08

Well damn, everyone thumbing down my comment when I admitted I'd never really been there. Also I said, "correct me if I'm wrong" you didn't have to beat a dead horse by thumbing me down.

awilliams44 9

Wednesday 5 February 2014 2:03

how does that work

ncsMcLaren77 12

Wednesday 5 February 2014 21:39

Must have been a white gf

mderaita 7

Thursday 6 February 2014 0:08

Who cares

tdog23456 5

Sunday 9 February 2014 0:09

any white girls around?

goldendino 4

Wednesday 12 February 2014 1:38

It would be funny if there was a cop there.

hellmate 12

Saturday 15 February 2014 21:44

why are you dating a shoplifter

grritsshay 18

Wednesday 21 May 2014 20:55

Hope you're punishing your child.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 337

You deserved it 15 970

Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than get rid of the stupid mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 957

You deserved it 89 284

Today, during the opening night performance of our schools musical, while I wasn't on stage I decided to use the restroom. I came out to find two of my fellow actresses putting their hands over my mouth. Apparently, I had left my microphone on and everyone heard me using the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 813

You deserved it 12 778

Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been experiencing hair loss. He insisted on a pregnancy test. My parents then grounded me. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 94

Today, my husband chose to masturbate. I'm not getting laid for the forth night in a row, because initiating sex is too hard for him. Just once, I want to not have to initiate or flat out beg for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 282

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 824

You deserved it 7 742

Today, my fiancé received his divorce papers. Thanks to his procrastinating, his divorce is effective May 29th. We're supposed to get married on May 28th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 381

You deserved it 5 322