Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my wife forced me to delete a female friend’s number off my phone because she’s jealous of our friendship. She then showed me a demonstration of what will happen if I contact her again, with a photo she got from her Facebook, gasoline, and a match to “make sure we understand each other.” FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and set all my stuff on fire. Why? Because she found my Tinder account. I haven’t even used it since I met her. FML
Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, my girlfriend was mad I have so many female contacts in my phone and demanded I delete some of them. Two thirds of them are blood relatives, the rest are coworkers, and one is a friend I’ve known since primary school, who is dying of a brain tumour. Which exactly should I delete? FML
Today, my girlfriend came up to me to ask me to have access to my Google account, just so she could delete all my photos then break up with me, saying I was in the wrong. She thought it was disrespectful for me to have a life outside of her. FML
Today, my new girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female friends' numbers. Her rationale is, “When them bitches are going through some shit, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.” When I refused, she promptly dumped me because she doesn’t "need a potential cheater” in her life. FML
Today, my girlfriend went through my phone and when she found nothing she accused me of having a secret second phone, and is tearing apart the house and both cars looking for a secret phone. I’ve been making calls so the cops and a locksmith are on their way, I need this bitch out of my life. FML
Today, I found out that my mother changed all the locks of the house and threw away all of my girlfriend's stuff. I don't know what the fuck happened there. I actually bought the house two years ago because I had enought of her being nosey and controlling with both of us. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
You deleted your relationship instead, right?
Charlie Given 28
pack your shit time to go run far far away
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Comments (20)
RichardPencil 32
She'd set your mother on fire?
Brightside86 31
If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention
Charlie Given 28
pack your shit time to go run far far away
ghostinflames 13
That seems pretty extreme, are you sure she doesn't mean the ones that hold a flame for you? Does she wake up everyday in dread that you're gonna hurt her feelings again or give another girl the thought that she has a chance with you? If it's just that she's possessive and isn't truely in love with you, cutting ties will be worth it to be free.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You deleted your relationship instead, right?
sarahcroy20 12
Why would you want to be with someone like that?
Bogrbon 27
This had better be followed by “today I left my now-ex-girlfriend and even did the favor of introducing her to some nice police officers for domestic abuse.”
kittycatkelss 29
Dude, run!
mccuish 25
GET THE HELL OUT. That is a huge red flag
red6joker 8
that's a pretty big red flag. when they are crazy possessive like that it will only end bad. you need to get out before that happens.