Love: Jealousy - FML

Jealousy

By jake - 10/01/2021 18:02 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 237

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Same thing different taste

Unreasonable

By Whipped af - 05/10/2023 01:30

Today, my wife forced me to delete a female friend’s number off my phone because she’s jealous of our friendship. She then showed me a demonstration of what will happen if I contact her again, with a photo she got from her Facebook, gasoline, and a match to “make sure we understand each other.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 205

Tindersticks

By noluckthere - 10/09/2021 02:01

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and set all my stuff on fire. Why? Because she found my Tinder account. I haven’t even used it since I met her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 382

By DCarreon - 04/10/2012 07:13 - United States - Ceres

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 317

You deserved it 3 263

By NowImSingle - 12/02/2018 19:00

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 490

You deserved it 412

By mommydearest - 04/09/2011 16:08 - Denmark

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 322

You deserved it 4 113

Unreasonable demands

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 06:01

Today, my girlfriend was mad I have so many female contacts in my phone and demanded I delete some of them. Two thirds of them are blood relatives, the rest are coworkers, and one is a friend I’ve known since primary school, who is dying of a brain tumour. Which exactly should I delete? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 120

Crazy ex

By Anonymous - 30/06/2023 10:00

Today, my girlfriend came up to me to ask me to have access to my Google account, just so she could delete all my photos then break up with me, saying I was in the wrong. She thought it was disrespectful for me to have a life outside of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 112

New saying just dropped

By Evan - 10/10/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female friends' numbers. Her rationale is, “When them bitches are going through some shit, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.” When I refused, she promptly dumped me because she doesn’t "need a potential cheater” in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 197

Get out

By Leave me alone, bitch!!! - 20/11/2021 02:00

Today, I found out that my mother changed all the locks of the house and threw away all of my girlfriend's stuff. I don't know what the fuck happened there. I actually bought the house two years ago because I had enought of her being nosey and controlling with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 617

You deserved it 117

Overreaching

By Entitled parents suck. - 12/10/2022 10:00

Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 137

Next

Top comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 11 January 2021 5:07

You deleted your relationship instead, right?

Charlie Given 26

Monday 11 January 2021 3:51

pack your shit time to go run far far away

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 11 January 2021 2:19

She'd set your mother on fire?

Brightside86 30

Monday 11 January 2021 2:44

If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention

Charlie Given 26

Monday 11 January 2021 3:51

pack your shit time to go run far far away

ghostinflames 13

Monday 11 January 2021 4:41

That seems pretty extreme, are you sure she doesn't mean the ones that hold a flame for you? Does she wake up everyday in dread that you're gonna hurt her feelings again or give another girl the thought that she has a chance with you? If it's just that she's possessive and isn't truely in love with you, cutting ties will be worth it to be free.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 11 January 2021 5:07

You deleted your relationship instead, right?

sarahcroy20 12

Monday 11 January 2021 5:20

Why would you want to be with someone like that?

Bogrbon 27

Monday 11 January 2021 6:14

This had better be followed by “today I left my now-ex-girlfriend and even did the favor of introducing her to some nice police officers for domestic abuse.”

kittycatkelss 28

Monday 11 January 2021 6:25

Dude, run!

mccuish 25

Monday 11 January 2021 9:04

GET THE HELL OUT. That is a huge red flag

red6joker 8

Monday 11 January 2021 14:23

that's a pretty big red flag. when they are crazy possessive like that it will only end bad. you need to get out before that happens.

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The Top

Today, my dad brought home a used hunk of junk from someone he knew. It was covered in rust and dents, and the engine was making weird noises. Thinking he was being generous, he said to me, "When you get your license, you'll be driving it!" It then died with a loud bang and black smoke from under the hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 81

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said, "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 702

You deserved it 16 736

The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I have an 'outie' belly button, and he didn't want our potential kids to have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 166

Today, I sold my Christmas gift from my father on eBay as I'm so desperate for cash. It's also the day I got scammed by an eBay buyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 918

You deserved it 3 730

Today, my mother-in-law keeps making fun of how I've "never seen any cool movies." I grew up in severe social isolation/constant physical abuse, and have memory loss from age 13 and below as a result. I've seen them, I just can't remember them, but she refuses to believe it, so I'll never hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 91

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 408

You deserved it 3 197

Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 253

You deserved it 6 656

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 137

You deserved it 4 456