By well i'm fucked - 03/02/2014 22:47 - United States - Aberdeen

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks 61 097
You deserved it 6 830

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3 weeks you better run she's crazy!

Tell her you're sterile

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3 weeks you better run she's crazy!

I don't think OP can run far enough

Well that escalated quickly

Running may not be enough, if he was relying on her to manage birth control.

Maybe she's already pregnant but hasn't spilled the beans yet (?) Maybe she asked OP if he would ever have a baby with her in the near/far future or whatever to see what his answer would be . A "no" or even "I don't know" probably ticked her off a little now that she's fucked and doesn't know what to do so she decides to go for Plan B; the suicide note... I could be wrong but anything is possible . Or she's a crazy psycho...

#46 I'm not seeing much difference between the situation you described and how you ended your comment. She's a psycho.

People who say stuff like that are always bluffing. Just leave her. I highly doubt she'll do anything.

Run Forest! RUN!!!

I say call her bluff

Why bother? Looks like she will take care of the problem herself.

That depends, just how hot is she?

I like how you mention the three weeks part, as if after a certain period of time that's acceptable.

"Run away from me baby...run away, its about to get crazy, just run away"

If she truly is serious he should take her out for a 'romantic' night and drop her off at a psychiatric facility.

#61 sometimes people can agree and add other opinions (:

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

The point isnt about OP and her gf having a child. the point is that she's a fucking psycho.

well said sgtasscheeks

#14, maybe #2 was just saying how OP should explain to his (crazy) girlfriend about how serious having a baby is and how BOTH parents have to be ready and committed . Having a long talk with her about it doesn't necessarily mean he is going to agree with her at any point .

Of course he doesn't agree, or else this FML wouldn't br here. There is no explaining. It goes like "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I pierced your condoms, so have my baby!"

57, like a boss lmao

This is why you're my favorite FML-er, 57.

Agh I didn't mean to post that and the app crashed right after I did so I can't edit it T__T

#51 maybe #2 just have an easier time seeing this through op's girlfriends eyes!

57, that made my morning.

Maybe she is op's girlfriend :P

Sgtasscheeks spittin some good shit

#158 or she's just being a little sensitive and is probably having a child so she's being a little supportive about it . I don't support OP's girlfriend at all , like I've stated , she's a psycho bitch . I thought #2 was just being very thoughtful but didn't read the FML properly .

And #57 , I truly apologise , I only just woke up when I responded to your comment and I forgot to add that the "talk" would have ended with "I'm dumping your crazy ass".

"I pierced your condoms, so have my baby" That seems out of order

Ouch. Maybe it's best to ease away from this relationship... Unless she's joking, but since this is an FM I'm assuming it isn't a joke

I wouldn't care if she WAS joking. If you joke that you'll kill yourself if you don't get kids three weeks into the relationship, I'm leaving your crazy ass.

She's probably just trying to get attention. OP, call her on her bluff and RUN! If you're really concerned about her, though, get proof of what she's said (texts, emails, notes?) and show an adult in her life. But it is not your responsibility to be her therapist..which she most certainly needs! Someone who is really suicidal generally won't use it as a tactic like that.

Even if she was joking op should still dump her. Threatening suicide is fucking crazy. Op, you should get out of the relationship as fast as you can. If she is acting like this after three weeks just imagine how she'd be acting a year from now. Best of luck.

Maybe it's reverse psychology; OP is a nutjob and she wants out and has realised the best option (because he's a nutjob) is to out-psycho him, forcing him to dump her. An unlikely theory, but not impossible.

Run away!! Run far away!

yeah I second that OP... run... fast... far... right now... unless you wanna pay for the rest of your life for a kid and that psycho bitch of course...

Tell her you're sterile

Then why have they been using birth control? ;)

Exactly. Tell her you are sterile and understand her desire for a child. But since you are unable to provide her with one you agree to step aside and let her find someone who can give her what she wants.

STDs? they've only been dating three weeks - no way I'd be risking sex without a condom.

All you have to do is get tested, I know it didn't say it in the FML but since she isn't already pregnant it makes sense that's the reason he'd want to use bc. Nvm it's too hard to converse over text... I had a feeling that last post wasn't going to make sense.

Am I missing something? Where does it say they're having sex already? You can talk about having kids before you have sex with someone

I guess it's possible they haven't gotten there yet. I was picturing a poking a hole in the condom situation. Fuck, sorry.

Compromise, get her a pet fish and see if that takes the heat off you for a while. Good luck, OP!

Cats tend to work better.

No, then she'll turn into a crazy cat lady and start chasing OP around throwing cats in his face. Don't let her become a crazy cat lady and throw cats in your face, OP.

Nah it will just make it easier for her if or when he leaves her

nah, then she'll have a cat that reminds her of him.

Seriously #7? 3 weeks into a relationship she is talking kids or sucide and you suggets compromise? Oh hell no, he needs to get far far away from this bag of crazy.

#162 by the sounds of it, she is probably obsessive about him, and would be one of those to have a shrine of his photos in her closest. So I think the cat would be the least of the problems. She sounds like the type who will either try to get herself pregnant with his kid or stalk him if he leaves.

Dosent sound like this should continue to week four

#6, and if someone is that bonkers, do you think giving an ultimatum or a flat out "no" is going to go over well? NOPE. You have to navigate those waters with tact and caution, pumpkin.

Then OP should sleep with a gun under his pillow. Of course it's not going to over well, no matter what diplomatic tactics he uses. The fact of the matter is that she's clearly unstable, and not in any position to have a serious relationship, let alone be allowed to have a child or anywhere near one.

That right there is the first and last clue you need to know you need to get the hell out of there! Good luck OP.

Time to call the men in white coats.

They're coming to take me away, Haha!

Nah. The MiB. We got some crazy shit here