Miscellaneous: Today, I felt so lonely that when I was watching a ghost show,... - FML

By Anonymous

Today, I felt so lonely that when I was watching a ghost show, I wished my house was haunted so at least some sort of presence was with me, even if it was in another dimension. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1514

You deserved it

244

Tweet

Share

Coherence dude, do you have it?

FML every way you look at it

Freak Scene

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13292

You deserved it

41061

Tweet

Share

By Kyle - United Kingdom

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

16948

You deserved it

46878

Tweet

Share

By lexigan4 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36125

You deserved it

3728

Tweet

Share

By fire - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27465

You deserved it

6577

Tweet

Share

By TTR - United States

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12897

You deserved it

44552

Tweet

Share

By shadow - United States - Osceola

Today, my mother-in-law told my fiancé that I had to leave and wasn’t allowed to live there anymore. I own the house. She’s mad because I locked the door so she couldn't walk in anytime she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5780

You deserved it

338

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61687

You deserved it

3449

Tweet

Share

By Boyufd - 30/7/2020 23:01

The Dark Knight

Today, I noticed my acne scars are almost forming the Batman symbol. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1164

You deserved it

132

Tweet

Share

By Lisa - 24/4/2020 05:00

Confinement must be great

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because he won’t stop inappropriately talking to other girls on social media. We live together and have 6 months left on our apartment lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1579

You deserved it

235

Tweet

Share

By :| - Canada

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33553

You deserved it

6352

Tweet

Share

By Maryann

'Murica

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks

4250

You deserved it

623

Tweet

Share

By paul - France

Today, I had a big meeting. Half way through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-worker but I didn't understand what he meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26178

You deserved it

4734

Tweet

Share

By pat - United Kingdom

Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33768

You deserved it

2502

Tweet

Share

By future missing person maker person thingy - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41101

You deserved it

2715

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - South Africa

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25027

You deserved it

2531

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28769

You deserved it

6488

Tweet

Share

By illusia - 5/4/2021 16:58

It's complicated

Today, I was screamed at for not doing the dishes because I was exhausted. Last year, when my arm was broken, I did all my chores without complaint. I don’t know how to explain to my parents that I’d much, much rather work with a broken arm than while tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

744

You deserved it

120

Tweet

Share

By Fluffyman

Today, I realized that I haven’t lost weight. All my clothes have just stretched to fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1314

You deserved it

278

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31993

You deserved it

3888

Tweet

Share

By 1942ford - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46049

You deserved it

3805

Tweet

Share

By I'm Trading Up For A Dog - Finland - Pori

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35577

You deserved it

6190

Tweet

Share

By Julia - United States

Today, I found out all the money my dad has been saving in the bank for me since birth has all been spent, by my mother who I haven't seen or talked to in about two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34417

You deserved it

1974

Tweet

Share

By BDSM4Jesus - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34994

You deserved it

4517

Tweet

Share

By -__-" - United States - Vancouver

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48462

You deserved it

4537

Tweet

Share

By biwhat - Australia - Bassendean

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

I agree, your life sucks

47773

You deserved it

13983

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Hartford

Today, I realized that although I'm dating the most loveable, caring and genuine man, the fact that he's a crack addict means I'll never be his drug of choice when he needs a hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30847

You deserved it

21493

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Escondido

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42274

You deserved it

8191

Tweet

Share

By jitiizer - Netherlands - Leeuwarden

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34827

You deserved it

2302

Tweet

Share

By julian1 - United States - Orlando

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18997

You deserved it

10507

Tweet

Share

By tina - Canada

Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend that told me he was taking a family vacation to Mexico. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41080

You deserved it

4087

Tweet

Share

By drop dead single - United States

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

I agree, your life sucks

39130

You deserved it

4446

Tweet

Share

By SBae - United States - Uniontown

Today, I waited for the single bathroom for a very long time. I finally knocked on the door and found no one was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15946

You deserved it

9180

Tweet

Share

By howannoying - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31210

You deserved it

3884

Tweet

Share

By Carolina R-h

Today, after driving 900 miles, the tongue on my trailer broke ten miles away from home. I was stuck on the side of the road for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1640

You deserved it

123

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a camping trip. I already had a bad back, and then the guy in charge took us on a hike. My shoes were too small, and now I'm hobbling around with a bad back and foot. Every time I limp, it hurts my back, but if I walk normally, it hurts my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10326

You deserved it

5259

Tweet

Share

By cydia123

Today, my boss threatened to fire me. Why? An old lady spent 30 minutes looking at our menu before asking for "cottage pie." After telling her that it wasn't an item on the menu, she spent another 20 minutes deciding. She then asked for several more items we didn't have, then complained to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1928

You deserved it

94

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 05:00

Alexa, play "Living Doll" by Cliff Richard

Today, my boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere, supposedly because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks and have had sex twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1600

You deserved it

171

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Malden

Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21082

You deserved it

1344

Tweet

Share

By Albert - 26/4/2020 17:00

Useless

Today, I used up the last of my deodorant for a business meeting on Zoom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

611

You deserved it

1287

Tweet

Share

By RetailScapegoat

Today, I was fired for job abandonment. Yesterday, my boss told me to go home early because we were so slow. After I reminded him, he laughed and said, "Oh yeah... You're still fired." FML

I agree, your life sucks

4439

You deserved it

254

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 30

#7819986 - Thursday 11 July 2019 2:42

They’d probably ghost you eventually.

By Levi2411 | 39

#7819985 - Thursday 11 July 2019 2:32

You're the type of character who starts playing with demons and shit, and gets everyone in the movie fucking killed.

COMMENTS

By Jjjjjjjam24 | 3

#7819977 - Thursday 11 July 2019 2:09

I feel you

By Charles J Craft | 2

#7819979 - Thursday 11 July 2019 2:14

what's your number

By Levi2411 | 39

#7819985 - Thursday 11 July 2019 2:32

You're the type of character who starts playing with demons and shit, and gets everyone in the movie fucking killed.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7819986 - Thursday 11 July 2019 2:42

They’d probably ghost you eventually.

By FtheHumanity | 17

#7820015 - Thursday 11 July 2019 4:55

Welp, some of us would theoretically kill for an empty house, so enjoy it if you can, dude.

By 1gullible_bugger | 33

#7820861 - Sunday 14 July 2019 8:58

I think the same thing sometimes.