Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML
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Top comments
gusgus36 5
awkward. I'd be mad at him cuz that's really embarrassing. but hey. at least you did have an ******.
RedPillSucks 33
Ask him how many sea turtles he's been having sex with in order for him to gain this knowledge. Tell him that he probably needs to be checked for turtle aids, and that from now on, you're going to use a sea cucumber to please yourself.
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Comments (89)
hobogasmic 0
like gus , just be glad u got aa ****** . unless u faked it x))))
Pawned71 0
wtf... DUMP that bich as mutha fackA take his head and shove it into a sand until his head goes in...
oneworldguy 0
... and he knows what a sea turtle's ****** HOW???
bmexoxo98 0
is ur name Lindsey?
Gbleier333 4
lolllllllll
briissocoollike 8
Lol I wanna see
fejj13r 0
How would you even demonstrate that?
Sprechchor 12
Did you look him dead in the eye and say "I know about the sea turtles?