Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML
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Top comments
gusgus36 5
awkward. I'd be mad at him cuz that's really embarrassing. but hey. at least you did have an ******.
RedPillSucks 33
Ask him how many sea turtles he's been having sex with in order for him to gain this knowledge. Tell him that he probably needs to be checked for turtle aids, and that from now on, you're going to use a sea cucumber to please yourself.
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Comments (89)
devileyekill 0
Nice list, no "As blood runs black"!?!?!
jlear3 0
I'm sorry, but I would love to see this demonstration.. and YkindaDI for acting like a sea turtle 0.o
haggymypants 3
YDI.
ErinAinsley 0
Woooww.... maybe it's just that funny XD
lovinit5683 0
I don't get why your getting mad. Just think "How does he know what a sea turtles ****** is like?" Hint he probably had to screw one to even get the knowledge... Either that or the chick he has been with other than you must have a similar appearance of a sea turtle...
georggx 3
who's be screwing a sea turtle... HOW EMBARRASSING!!
AkDreamer5 0
That's kind of werid. I feel bad for you&your boyfriend because it probaly bothers him, and he told his friends about how you orgasim.
shootingstar13 0
tell him you move like one cause he acts like a sea turtle wen he ***** you lmaaO
shootingstar13 0
moan*
SaintE_fml 0
demonstrate his by spitting in his face in front of said friends!