Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
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Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML
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Top comments
gusgus36 5
awkward. I'd be mad at him cuz that's really embarrassing. but hey. at least you did have an ******.
RedPillSucks 33
Ask him how many sea turtles he's been having sex with in order for him to gain this knowledge. Tell him that he probably needs to be checked for turtle aids, and that from now on, you're going to use a sea cucumber to please yourself.
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Comments (89)
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Mature men do not discuss things like this with their friends....he could give the poor girl a hangup now where she can't relax and ******. What a jerk! What is he 14? Don't give him any EVER again. Find a better BF!
_krispy 0
bahah whatt a jokee, of course hes gonna tlkk about it to his friends :P
ulicksam 0
There's no such thing as a "beach sea turtle". What he probably did was compare your ****** to a "beached" sea turtle, not the ****** of a "beach" sea turtle.
Stumblebum30 5
Sounds like he's too immature to even be having sex. Time for a new bf if he has no more consideration and respect for you than to embarrass you in front friends.
cufaoil 11
At least he's watching Animal Planet instead of Hannah Montana
wDeemish 0
WTF ._.
Leftieswillrule 3
you should say "I'm a terrible actress"
colombiancartel 0
Bahahaha! this made me laugh,kudos.
cracktus 0
Guys, you all should go on YouTube and look up "turtle ******." The sound of a turtle's ****** is hysterical. This chick's BF obviously watched one.
randomnameflob 0
He made you ****** in front of his friends??
PplMakeMistakes 2
that bitch !!!
dt520 4
did he bang a sea turtle or something? he sounds worse off since your the one getting off.