Love and Drunk: The Phone Call

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 210

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Amy (grossed out) - 27/04/2014 13:43 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 717

You deserved it 6 061

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 915

You deserved it 4 004

I need one

By j…… - 14/08/2011 03:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 613

You deserved it 56 911

By lillymean - 03/02/2012 01:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 478

You deserved it 6 111

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 806

You deserved it 4 151

We're all proud of him

By Anonymous - 25/02/2022 04:59 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 89

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 008

You deserved it 12 784

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 807

You deserved it 2 832

Bachelor party

By Anonymous - 07/02/2020 18:00

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 215

You deserved it 441

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 07:08 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 545

You deserved it 5 362

123Puppy 33

Tuesday 24 September 2019 0:38

Why are you with him?

Phil 14

Tuesday 24 September 2019 1:26

Just tell him that you're more woman than he can handle, and twice the man he'll ever be.

Comments

123Puppy 33

Tuesday 24 September 2019 0:38

Why are you with him?

misswilwarin96 11

Tuesday 24 September 2019 1:19

Hopefully she isn't anymore. I would've dumped his ass right then.

Phil 14

Tuesday 24 September 2019 1:26

Just tell him that you're more woman than he can handle, and twice the man he'll ever be.

LostSoul 19

Tuesday 24 September 2019 2:03

leave now! it will only get worse.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 24 September 2019 3:20

I hope you mean... ...you finish it.

acmariner99 25

Tuesday 24 September 2019 3:40

And then he woke up with a hangover, amnesia, and single.

TrashlifeKaylala 12

Tuesday 24 September 2019 4:21

Sounds to me like being with you prevented him from doing something while he was out. Especially if hes out with his friends. Potentially stayed loyal but bitter he couldnt act like a **** boy. Dump him

nemcali 34

Tuesday 24 September 2019 8:01

This shit ain’t right indeed...

mssileas 25

Tuesday 24 September 2019 8:32

Release him into the wild then, no losses here.

slym12312425 9

Tuesday 24 September 2019 20:11

sounds like he was a **** boy to begin with and was getting ragged on by is Idiot Friends while out with them for not cheating on you. plus one for loyalty minus... Well more than one for all of the idiocy that phone call contained. the solution? Dump his ass and find somebody who has enough respect for you to not drunk dial you and disrespect you in that way.