Love: Today, I’m almost six weeks pregnant. From exactly ten seconds... - FML

By Anonymous - 13/12/2018 15:30

Spicy

Today, I’m almost six weeks pregnant. From exactly ten seconds of penetration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 404

You deserved it 1 393

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Science has gone too far

By Amanda - 15/09/2021 13:00 - United States - Greenbrier

Today, I went in for a full hysterectomy due to medical issues. I came out being 6 weeks pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 174

By Marcella - 24/10/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 581

You deserved it 4 462

Congratulations. Or not.

By Anonymous - 24/10/2019 14:03

Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 2 096

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 433

You deserved it 6 700

The Little Sperm That Could

By Anonymous - 24/08/2017 16:00

Today, I found out I'm three weeks pregnant with a guy I've been dating for a month. I'm on the pill and we even used a condom. This baby must be some kind of superhuman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 823

You deserved it 916

Super villain origin story

By ... - 13/01/2024 13:00 - United States - Dallas

Spicy

Today, I’m 9 months pregnant, and my due date is less than a week away. The dad? Some random guy whose name I don’t know who fucked me in a tent at Coachella while I was drunk of my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 945

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 679

You deserved it 7 573

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 22:00

Spicy

Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my soon-to-be ex-husband's baby from the moment we agreed to have sex one last time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 705

You deserved it 9 171

Gagging for it

By Noname - 28/01/2009 20:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 199

You deserved it 5 704

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 874

You deserved it 8 703

Next

Top comments

Leeono 26

Thursday 13 December 2018 13:56

Ten seconds on the lips a lifetime on the hips.

manb91uk 22

Thursday 13 December 2018 15:43

That's 6.5 seconds longer than my personal best - I'm impressed!

Comments

Leeono 26

Thursday 13 December 2018 13:56

Ten seconds on the lips a lifetime on the hips.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 13 December 2018 20:28

Nine months on the hips. Oh, and it’s beyond the lips.

manb91uk 22

Thursday 13 December 2018 15:43

That's 6.5 seconds longer than my personal best - I'm impressed!

Itsbeenalong 5

Thursday 13 December 2018 16:10

Doesn't matter, had sex!

Ashamed_Sister 60

Thursday 13 December 2018 17:56

"I told him sex with him wasn't good but he said I shouldn't rush to judgment after only 10 seconds."

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 13 December 2018 19:14

His swimmers must be little Michael Phelpses!!!

Zahkrii 21

Thursday 13 December 2018 19:21

Abortion is always an option, retro actively too

WHSKitty4ever 23

Thursday 13 December 2018 21:49

It’s called ManDelay. Look into it

xxWTFxx1981 23

Thursday 13 December 2018 22:47

you should be in a condom commercial...

Chazzster 28

Thursday 13 December 2018 23:02

OP, are you saying it would be OK to be pregnant if the sex had lasted longer? You can get pregnant regardless of how pleasurable or not the sex was. Safe Sex - Use a condom or get on the pill.

Taylor Hill 7

Thursday 13 December 2018 23:24

That’s absolutely hilarious, similar thing happened to me

manb91uk 22

Saturday 15 December 2018 4:52

*inner voice* please be the father, please be the father...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 90

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 714

The Top

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 746

You deserved it 7 937

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 265

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 772

You deserved it 5 129

Today, after wondering why I didn't receive a grade for a summer course I took in 2007, I realized that I gave the professor the wrong student ID number. Someone else received credit. I've been waiting on this grade for 8 months in order to graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 703

You deserved it 31 060

Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 699

You deserved it 3 184

Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 136