Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend got back from a long wrestling tournament. As a nice surprise, I decided to give him a little show over FaceTime. As soon as I stripped down into my bra and underwear, he paused the screen and started surfing the internet for new shoes. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
TripleATeam 13
The best part of this was OP's name.
Stephanoze 23
At least he has a great sense of humour! :)
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Comments (118)
littleking94 14
you gotta atleast commend him on that awesome pun lol
daddysgirl243 21
sounds like a keeper
NodakN8V 25
Nailed it
captainsmegma 12
What hard working woman doesn't appreciate dinner hot and ready. You need to keep this one.
abNormal62 23
Damn! A cocktail sausage when you were in the mood for a foot long hot dog! Sorry for the disappointment!
likeableme 9
I hope you chew your food very careful so you don't choke.
samlovesham1234 9
Boys. *rolls eyes*
Karlsmarx2 9
Did you atleast swallow
Bi0xHazard 18
Heeey, I mean a surprise is a surprise~ and it wasn't a bad one either (´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
earthlyscum 19
Honestly that would have made me so happy if a guy did that to me lol, a sense of humor with a tad of naughty is always perfect!