Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend got back from a long wrestling tournament. As a nice surprise, I decided to give him a little show over FaceTime. As soon as I stripped down into my bra and underwear, he paused the screen and started surfing the internet for new shoes. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
TripleATeam 13
The best part of this was OP's name.
Stephanoze 23
At least he has a great sense of humour! :)
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Comments (118)
carcinoid 17
bite it off
odamaliekh 26
Calm down there, satan.
Sheh_fml 25
I'm just gonna say this... Guys, getting head is a gift. Giving it is not. If you want sexytimes, do something nice for your partner, don't just inform them that they are free to bone you. That is not how to put someone in the mood. I get that it was just a joke, but it seems like an alarming number of dudes think this is actually more of "sexy foreplay" than "silly joke".
Dilwann 27
This. So much this.
leogachi 15
I'd also like to add that before you make a joke like this you should make sure your partner is going to think it's funny. We don't all have the same sense of humor.
mzmilly 13
how do I like this more than once? lol
leogachi 15
I didn't mean the Op specifically when I left my comment. Also, being able to laugh at yourself is easy when the joke is funny. If it isn't funny, I won't laugh (and it's a mood killer for me).
Brandi_Faith 34
I couldn't agree more 42! Plus, I'm sure op was expecting a present or a fancy night out or something, seeing as him wanting a bj probably is no surprise or nothing new.
trey600rr 22
still hungry huh, Lmao!
tibtak_fml 10
It's "bon appétit"
RedPillSucks 33
it's also a play on words. a double entendre. come on people. this is not rocket science.
catmint 13
being the first time I've come across Bone Appetit this is hilarious
RayRobles17 9
I would definitly do something like that hahaha your boyfriend seems like a funny guy
mattfire14 12
He gets a C for creativity
Lilandrea_fml 3
The Naked Maaan !
ZoroMiHawk 25
Well, according to the legend himself, Barney Stintson, getting naked in front of your date/girlfriend works 1 out of 3 attempts. Those are pretty good odds so you can't blame your boyfriend for trying!
leogachi 15
He learned that from a guy named Mitch, who forever shall be known as The Naked Man.
NonoMeow 18
It actually works 2 out of 3 times: even better odds.
dankmeme 4
He's a keeper