Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend got back from a long wrestling tournament. As a nice surprise, I decided to give him a little show over FaceTime. As soon as I stripped down into my bra and underwear, he paused the screen and started surfing the internet for new shoes. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
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Top comments
TripleATeam 13
The best part of this was OP's name.
Stephanoze 23
At least he has a great sense of humour! :)
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Comments (118)
RedPillSucks 33
that's when you sic your dog on his bone. if you don't have a dog go Jeffery dalmer on his ass
NightHawk387 22
To be fair, I bet you were surprised.
EvilLittleMan 23
Turn around with a sign stating: Alone Appetite.
allforfun 23
This is hilarious!
Silk_Routes 14
Lucky U...adore him Op
Hauclir 14
Ladies, you need to start expecting this kind of thing from men.
leogachi 15
As long as the guy expects me to be upset with him afterwards, it's a deal. Don't act like you have a treat for your girl when you really just want a treat for yourself.
worldclassrager 41
Well then...how would you appreciate that? It's more like is pleasure...
janfleury 19
That is awesome.
vikky538 29
You sure to tell him that you are sausage hungry and not **** hungry!!!
WOTAN1488 24
That is awesome lol! It would have been even funnier if you, the female, did it instead ;) (assuming you're female).