My body, my choice

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

The Unmatchmaker

Today, my parents found out that I separately convinced them not to get back together, and now they're not speaking to me. FML

Elaborate backstory

Today, I found out both my parents are career criminals. My dad expects me to join the "family business" and my mom has decided that they'll "never get her alive." FML

All over the place

Today, I drove 15 hours to drop my son off at my parents' for their vacation, just for them to tell me that they changed their minds and they're taking my sister's kids instead. FML

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

No kidding

Today, I told my mom that having watched my sister ruin her life having kids who grew into brats with criminal records before their teens, I refused to ruin my life the same way and will be childless. I then turned to leave and they were in the doorway, my sister and her two brats. I got slapped. FML

Today, I found out my parents only had me in an attempt to fix their relationship. It didn't work. FML

Today, I found out my parents are getting divorced. They're fighting over the dog instead of my sister and me. FML

It's not a phase, mom!

Today, my parents disowned me because I told them I don’t want kids. FML

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML