Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML
Today, after asking my boyfriend multiple times to be more kind and romantic, he looked at me lovingly and said, "You know, you look pretty sometimes." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said, "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML
Today, my boyfriend compared me to an unattractive actress. When I said it was sort of messed up to say that to me since she's not pretty, he said, "She's not as bad as you." FML
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Top comments
Psychicgirl17 18
What a dick. Dump his ass
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
You mean your ex-boyfriend?
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Comments (129)
chosha_fml 26
Apparently he isn't supposed to get laid.
Iceman225 11
Haha.
RaeRaeFails 12
Well... ex-boyfriend hopefully?
MzZombicidal 36
#45, nice job trying to be whiny over stereotypes when that's EXACTLY what got you into this mess. Also, do you really believe that one persons opinion (family or not) is the true opinion of everyone else? You must be extremely gullible. I feel sorry for you.
mmm666 16
Dump the rude twat.
Enslaved 36
So answer the question. How else is a guy suppose to get laid? JK Would another type of compliment have worked better? "Princess Jasmine, you're very... Wonderful! Magnificent! Glorious!... Punctual!" :P
angiespook 18
Maybe it's time to get a new boyfriend.
SweetJTBR 22
What an imbecile! Dump his ungentlemanly Butt already! That is NOT how you treat a lady! :l
MrConcise 34
Play it like an angler fish - bait him in with something enticing, then chomp down.
stanjohnson 11
So, start calling him "Big Dick", not because he has one, because you wish he did.
alexxeon 5
Did he get laid?