Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML
Today, after asking my boyfriend multiple times to be more kind and romantic, he looked at me lovingly and said, "You know, you look pretty sometimes." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said, "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML
Today, my boyfriend compared me to an unattractive actress. When I said it was sort of messed up to say that to me since she's not pretty, he said, "She's not as bad as you." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Psychicgirl17 18
What a dick. Dump his ass
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
You mean your ex-boyfriend?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
lcd42 7
Guy's a jerk; rid yourself of him.
Catkam623 27
Ok how else are we supposed to get laid:)?
cuppycakeslove 20
Ummm maybe by being kind and considerate rather than being complete douches
Catkam623 27
Well I was joking... But thanks for the tip:)
User57777 13
That doesn't work for me, but I still do it, not to get laid of course.
berichsoon 11
76- No, Nice guys finish last
Kauphy 12
#87- No, quitters do.
MzZombicidal 36
Nice guys finish last because they make sure their lady finishes first.
LissaMccracken 23
How can he expect to get laid, if he says he only said that to get laid...
SuperDanielNL 23
Seems to me like he is too dumb to be manipulative, but I think OP could have noticed his behavior beforehand, I mean it seems hard to fake an entire relationship.
Hiimhaileypotter 52
Not all guys think with their dicks.
darwinism 30
Call him big. Not because he has a big dick, just because he is older than you.
Brightbulb 40
And how do we know op's boyfriend is older then her? That is stereotyping and, to be completely honest, no longer the social norm.
imtooshy 18
It doesn't say anywhere in the fml about anyone's age, not sure how you came up with saying he's older?!
primadonnagirl 13
hope you didn't have sex with him anyways.
Iceman225 11
stereotypes. wow.
PenguinBitch 43
@ #5 You're 15 years old and doing the "typical" female pose with a high angle shot and showing cleavage. Go figure.
ApollosMyth 22
Douchebag male thinking* most guys aren't like that. Atleast, I hope not.
Jkritz 8
Pissed! can't be with someone like that.