Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML
PDA FML
Today, after asking my boyfriend multiple times to be more kind and romantic, he looked at me lovingly and said, "You know, you look pretty sometimes." FML
Thanks
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said, "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML
Anticlimactic
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
How lovely
Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML
Focus!
Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML
The eye of the beholder
Today, my boyfriend compared me to an unattractive actress. When I said it was sort of messed up to say that to me since she's not pretty, he said, "She's not as bad as you." FML
Top comments
Psychicgirl17 18
What a dick. Dump his ass
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
You mean your ex-boyfriend?
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Comments (129)
Omniprism 14
At least he was trying. That's more than some.
SAspring 17
You must have been with some terrible guys if this is considered trying.
SWC_Penguin 17
What's really sad about this is that the only way she knows this is that he must have just instantly turned around and told the truth. In addition to being mean he's not even smart enough to lie well. (Tip #1, don't say "just kidding" immediately after lying.)
ApollosMyth 22
38, my hormones were on fire too, but it didn't fully controll my thoughts and actions.
Grayness_ 26
I'm sorry but el o ******* el. At least he is honest tho.
Iceman225 11
Are you five? Profanity is unhealthy at such a young age...
aimee0027 17
And you're still with him because...?
jessBeAqueen 13
sounds he was joking....if not hes an idiot to think he could still get some after telling you that.
MilkyFilmz 26
Your brother is an idiot. So are you. Bitch.
Treveyon56 14
You got one thing right, you're a bitch. As for what your brother said that doesn't speak for all guys.
worldclassrager 39
Time to look for someone else.,.sorry op..,.
Brightbulb 40
I unfortunately can see this happening. But, I'm going to convince myself it's a very small portion of the general male populace. Anyone care to join me?
MzZombicidal 36
Here, here!