Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting... - FML

By Radioo - 18/1/2010 09:00 - United States

Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML

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Great boyfriend

Ghosted

Banished

By Anonymous - 22/3/2015 09:52 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML

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By Ramb0 - 21/12/2019 01:00 - United Kingdom - Christchurch

By singing

Today, I was headbanging so hard to a song in the shower that I hit my head on the wall and got a concussion. I'm now in hospital. FML

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By Hmmwtf - 10/12/2009 10:38 - Australia

Today, I didn't get promoted, but the guy who showed up to work drunk a few weeks ago did. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/10/2018 15:30

Today, my 6'8" Russian friend picked me up, a 5'0" petite girl. This would be fine if he hadn't been startled by a moth and dropped me down the stairs. FML

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By Venus - 26/4/2019 20:00

Today, despite the fact that I live with my parents and pay rent, my mom decided the best spot for my brother, his wife and one-year-old son was my bedroom. So I'm sleeping on the couch, because it would, "take too long to clean her room." FML

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By clitty clitty bang bang - 13/4/2012 22:40 - United States - Brownsville

Today, after two years of vigorously fundraising on behalf of my senior class, they voted on spending the senior trip money at a waterpark. It's less than thirty minutes from where we all live. FML

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By FianceFlaw? - 25/11/2018 14:00

Today, I went to the courthouse to apply for my marriage license and had my mother tag along with me. When I asked one of five security guards where to go, my mom looked at him and said,"You’re suppose to talk her out of it." Thanks, Mom. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/12/2010 06:50 - Singapore

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

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By Alliente - 17/7/2012 21:11 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

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By resipsahipsta - 28/6/2009 17:42 - United States

Today, I finally cracked the password on my husband's email account. I don't know which is worse: finding out your husband is cheating on you with several people, or finding his password includes his ex-girlfriend's name. FML

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By FUCKKKS - 3/3/2013 17:37 - United States

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

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By independence - 7/7/2011 04:04 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he wanted some independence. He moved back into his parents house. FML

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By jll14 - 31/3/2013 22:27 - Malaysia - Kota Kinabalu

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

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By dumbass for a flatmate - 3/3/2013 02:35 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

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By mr - 27/7/2010 18:44 - United States

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/4/2020 17:00

Every little helps

Today, I found out that my grandmother desecrated my grandfather's grave. 14 years after his death, she dug up his body and had him cremated so that she could sell his plot back to the cemetery for money. I was the one who found out so I had to tell the rest of the family. FML

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By Waitingtomoveout - 12/1/2017 17:09

Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML

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By sammers27 - 19/12/2013 13:48 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML

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By Shit - 27/4/2014 17:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

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By supersmashpika - 18/7/2015 06:01 - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

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By minimazing - 7/10/2018 05:00

Today, my husband of 5 months admitted he is jealous of my dog. I've had the dog for 16 years. He admits to wanting to drop it off at the shelter while I'm at work. FML

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By justinmdent - 24/11/2014 03:48 - United States - Excelsior Springs

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

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By boopingsnoot - 7/7/2017 02:04

Today, while working at the vet, we had a familiar little dog show up for a minor procedure. The dog always sits on its owner's lap on the drive over, and always gets peed on. Not talking about dog pee. And we're not allowed to bathe it because that service costs extra. FML

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By .__. - 16/7/2013 20:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

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By notyourmom - 11/6/2013 12:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/5/2019 22:05

Today, I got hit on. By a high school kid. Who looks exactly like Napoleon Dynamite. That was the only time anyone has ever hit on me. FML

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By atalose - 6/3/2017 07:00 - United States - North Las Vegas

Today, my college professor said that anyone who misses the final next week automatically fails, "even if their grandmother died." My grandmother, the woman who raised me, died last night and her funeral is next week. Same day as the final. Across the country. FML

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By Tressa95 - 25/2/2018 18:30 - United States - Belleville

Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML

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By TheCrackerNinja - 26/11/2010 00:55 - United States

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend telling me to be romantic, I decided to make a romantic bath for us, complete with oil bath beads. After we get ready to take the bath, she puts her hand in the water and says she won't get it because 'it feels slimy'. I enjoyed a romantic bath alone. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/8/2015 12:43 - United Kingdom - Bexley

Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/9/2013 21:40 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

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By Snowin2007 - 9/1/2010 08:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

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By russty - 17/1/2010 17:45 - United States

Today, I walked to my car to find a window smashed in. Lucky for me, nothing was stolen. It did, however, rain all morning. FML

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By Devildrake - 15/4/2015 22:32 - Australia

Today, I went into work early so I could get my work all done and leave on time, rather than staying back. The later shift starters had other ideas and called in sick. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/3/2012 02:39 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML

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By logkitty - 10/4/2012 04:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gun point, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

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By Lebac - 14/4/2015 08:33 - United States - Burlington

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

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By emoflowers - 10/4/2012 02:51 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

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By SkinsCastSelection - 17/1/2011 16:46 - France

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

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By zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments - 1/2/2014 08:11 - United States - Montgomery

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

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Top comments

By hedgehogs | 0

#782221 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:16

Assuming that you knew this was a problem, why the hell were you keeping your rabbit in an area where he could continue eating it?

Poor rabbit.

By perdix | 29

#782366 - Monday 18 January 2010 17:19

Shame on you! You should get a boyfriend to munch your carpet, not a little bunny.

You're going to have a hard time getting a guy interested in your patchy carpet, so you should probably just shave "down there" and start all over again.

COMMENTS

By myliferox247 | 0

#782199 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:10

lol

Reply

LightWater | 0

#783323 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 2:33

Eat the rabbit. Rabbit is tasty.

Reply

#783391 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 3:08

It's a carpet-filled rabbit. Do you like ingesting carpet?

Reply

LightWater | 0

#783400 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 3:12

No, but I would imagine that as I tend to eat muscle, rather than the gastrointestinal tract of the animals I consume that this would be less of an issue.

Reply

peace7love2FML | 0

#974921 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 3:37

Thatss Nasty.

Reply

minnieminroe | 0

#988407 - Wednesday 5 May 2010 0:47

stupid rabbit

Reply

mexicutioner123 | 0

#2411759 - Tuesday 26 April 2011 22:36

silly wabbit

Reply

schpanki | 11

#2976049 - Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:03

Today, I was casually eating a carpet when I started to feel funny. I later discovered that rabbits cant eat carpets. I'm a rabbit. FML.

By hedgehogs | 0

#782221 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:16

Assuming that you knew this was a problem, why the hell were you keeping your rabbit in an area where he could continue eating it?

Poor rabbit.

Reply

beachycat | 0

#782250 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:24

This. Why wasn't the rabbit in the cage? This could have been easily prevented

Reply

Katherinemma87 | 0

#782679 - Monday 18 January 2010 20:15

They coulda let it out for an afternoon and not noticed that it was snacking at the carpet till too late.

By firecopy | 6

#782228 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:18

carpet?

Reply

riax | 9

#4489010 - Sunday 27 May 2012 21:14

Yes, the soft thing that we sometimes walk on

By cazzieeee | 0

#782232 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:19

this is terrible. I'm sorry :(

By YoungE | 0

#782252 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:24

in tha rabbits defense, it knew no better, for the OP there is none

By elishaax | 0

#782253 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:24

poor rabbit D; fyl

By Julianneisasmurf | 0

#782281 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:39

aww that totally sucks :( RIP rabbit :

By Vurban | 0

#782288 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:42

Carpetmuncher. =)
Sorry bout your rabbit though.

By Brave_Sir_Robin | 4

#782294 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:46

A rabbit munching carpet...

I just had a great idea for a porn movie!

Reply

Boddmon | 0

#782302 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:49

I'll be the rabbit!

Reply

JulzKay | 0

#783690 - Tuesday 19 January 2010 6:10

Yes, I definitely thought of a sexual innuendo when I saw this, too. O_O

By BlueTwist89 | 0

#782304 - Monday 18 January 2010 16:50

Wow, you totally deserve this. You should've been watching your rabbit. If you saw him eating the carpet you should've stopped him. Also, you can give I'm sure there was something you could have given your rabbit that was similar to exlax. Next time try not to be so negligent. Poor rabbit :(.