Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house, I heard him shout, "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, get back here!" He was talking to his cat who'd run out the door behind me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I had to get rid of my cats, or he would leave. He punched a hole in my wall when I told him I chose the cats. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because his iPod app said I was cheating. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because his wife found out about me. And by extension, I found out about his wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
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Top comments
nephilim241 19
What douche lord.. Property damage I can sorta understand but pet abduction is not cool.
ikickgingers 15
"I love you enough to bury the body." Run. Now.
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Comments (136)
majorasshole 4
More like he cheated on you and wants to belittle you so he doesn't feel bad about his little penis.
KindaFunnyRight 8
He's having an affair with your cat!!!
heyred 11
What exactly had him convinced? Change the locks, call the cops. Don't ever give someone a key unless they are on the lease!
brianjman14 23
**** everyone who thinks it's fine to take someone's pet. Call the cops.
Enslaved 38
Get your cat back before he does something crazy!
maphineRAWRS 10
if I had a cat I'd be glad someone took it. oh wait I'd never get a cat lul
laxmtl28 6
ur description says message u.... so hey lol :p
marinus_fml 20
Yup, it says message, like a private message... Also known as an "inbox" Hey Josie (:
laxmtl28 6
lol im so lost i hate this site its so confusingggggggg fml! haha
marinus_fml 20
I sense you're new around here? I'll give you a heads up, don't use words like "u" and "ur" because you will get picked to ***** by grammar nazis and myself. Also make sure you know the correct "there", "their" and "they're" when used in a sentence because people get pretty anal about that too. Regards, Your friendly neighborhood hero.
laxmtl28 6
k ill try nd nt be like dat. u ppl r 2 concerned with spellin
brianjman14 23
You forgot to tell him not to confuse your and you're either, Marinus.
laxmtl28 6
u guys are sooo cool wow shocking
OfficeNinja 5
Step 1. Get copies of the vet records, to prove there is a cat and you are paying for it. Step 2. Call the police.
The_Troller 14
Step 3. ??? Step 4. Profit! I had to fix it.
loserman67 36
I guess he didn't want to leave your house without some pussy. I wouldn't order any Chinese take out for the next few weeks if I were you - just as a precaution.
truebrotrue 7
Is he Asian by any chance?
livenatso 10
I guess he wants you to go to his house to get your cat back. Wonder what's waiting there for you.