Love and Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during... - FML

By TheLostCauseFML - 25/10/2017 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during sex when he suddenly said, "I'll be Trump. Let's make sex great again!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 026

You deserved it 1 004

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Same thing different taste

Hottttt

By whatthefuck - 27/12/2015 23:22 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 638

You deserved it 5 729

Make believe

By somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 897

You deserved it 5 516

Get it on

By xomelodygervais - 08/11/2013 14:00 - Canada - Timmins

Spicy

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 010

You deserved it 6 196

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 332

You deserved it 2 772

Turn off

By no no no - 21/03/2023 02:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 315

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 146

You deserved it 5 252

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 23:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 954

You deserved it 12 638

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 798

You deserved it 4 449

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 457

You deserved it 6 712

By thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 925

You deserved it 18 541

Next

Top comments

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:22

Is he gonna make Trojan pay for his condoms?

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:25

Did he grab you by your pussy?

Comments

cmchappy 25

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:09

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

moonlight77 28

Thursday 26 October 2017 1:15

Idk about you... but I don’t know too much people who want to marry Trump..

DavyJoe 13

Thursday 26 October 2017 4:44

No, divorce him...immediately

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:22

Is he gonna make Trojan pay for his condoms?

merican_redneck4 11

Tuesday 22 January 2019 0:35

You do realize he isn’t Bernie Sanders right

Stiggy626 25

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:36

yeah he's every girl's fantasy forreal

Donut_Wizard 23

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:58

Does he at least remember your name?

Jurbla 14

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:02

Because if there's one thing that definitely needed more politics, it's absolutely nothing. However, if there was something AFTER absolutely nothing that politics should be added to, it would DEFINITELY be sex.

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:25

Did he grab you by your pussy?

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:55

Did you get to pee on him?

Lobby_Bee 17

Wednesday 25 October 2017 8:21

Nothing dries up pussy faster than false promises.

Selene1090 26

Wednesday 25 October 2017 14:19

God, that would make me so dry...

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 25 October 2017 14:42

Why on earth would he think that was sexy?

Friesian 7

Thursday 26 October 2017 23:11

I don’t think he was trying to be sexy. He was trying to be funny.

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The Top

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 004

You deserved it 4 022

Today, I got screamed at by my mom for about 10 minutes because she claims I’m ruining my diet by drinking sparkling water, claiming it’s “soda”. I had to explain that it has zero sugar, calories, etc. She told me that it’s “the same fucking shit.” And to not trust “the government food labels.” Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 154

The Top

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 236

You deserved it 7 106

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 411

You deserved it 3 477

Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 131

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 012

You deserved it 53 202

Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 318

You deserved it 7 564

Today, I worked my job then went home to enjoy my weekend. An hour later, I was called and told I was fired, without any reason given. I can’t even empty my locker, as they'd said they would mail my things to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 72