Love and Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during... - FML

By TheLostCauseFML - 25/10/2017 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during sex when he suddenly said, "I'll be Trump. Let's make sex great again!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 017

You deserved it 997

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Same thing different taste

Hottttt

By whatthefuck - 27/12/2015 23:22 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 616

You deserved it 5 719

Make believe

By somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 879

You deserved it 5 514

Get it on

By xomelodygervais - 08/11/2013 14:00 - Canada - Timmins

Spicy

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 987

You deserved it 6 188

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 311

You deserved it 2 764

Turn off

By no no no - 21/03/2023 02:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 311

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 123

You deserved it 5 251

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 23:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 933

You deserved it 12 633

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 773

You deserved it 4 441

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 445

You deserved it 6 707

By thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 910

You deserved it 18 538

Next

Top comments

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:22

Is he gonna make Trojan pay for his condoms?

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:25

Did he grab you by your pussy?

Comments

cmchappy 25

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:09

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

moonlight77 28

Thursday 26 October 2017 1:15

Idk about you... but I don’t know too much people who want to marry Trump..

DavyJoe 13

Thursday 26 October 2017 4:44

No, divorce him...immediately

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:22

Is he gonna make Trojan pay for his condoms?

merican_redneck4 11

Tuesday 22 January 2019 0:35

You do realize he isn’t Bernie Sanders right

Stiggy626 25

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:36

yeah he's every girl's fantasy forreal

Donut_Wizard 23

Wednesday 25 October 2017 5:58

Does he at least remember your name?

Jurbla 14

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:02

Because if there's one thing that definitely needed more politics, it's absolutely nothing. However, if there was something AFTER absolutely nothing that politics should be added to, it would DEFINITELY be sex.

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:25

Did he grab you by your pussy?

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:55

Did you get to pee on him?

Lobby_Bee 17

Wednesday 25 October 2017 8:21

Nothing dries up pussy faster than false promises.

Selene1090 26

Wednesday 25 October 2017 14:19

God, that would make me so dry...

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 25 October 2017 14:42

Why on earth would he think that was sexy?

Friesian 7

Thursday 26 October 2017 23:11

I don’t think he was trying to be sexy. He was trying to be funny.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 093

You deserved it 3 098

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 350

The Top

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to show us an example of the type of shoes we would be wearing in the show. She brings in a pair of hideous black combat boots, and I remark how ugly they are. They're her own favorite boots. I had to carpool with her after rehearsal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 554

You deserved it 60 159

Today, I saw my friend's ex and noticed she had gained a ton of weight since he dated her and had been dating someone else. It reminded me of my friend, so I messaged him and made a joke about her being unrecognizable. He informed me that they started seeing each other again last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 1 345

Today, my aunt's last words to me were, "Don't be an idiot". FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 442

You deserved it 2 807

Today, my blind date tried to sell me a vacuum. I bought it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 946

You deserved it 8 289

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriend's chest. I was getting into it until she said, "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "That's not my nipple, its a pimple." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 227

You deserved it 43 819

Today, the guy I had a two-week long fling with and got pregnant by (while on birth control I might add), and who disappeared more than a decade ago after I told him, showed up at my door, demanding shared custody of my daughter. While he is her biological parent, she’s never met him and was terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 224