By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Kidderminster Today, after my dad declared that Rick and Morty is a terrible show, I caught him watching it and laughing his ass off. He grounded me. FML I agree, your life sucks 4104 You deserved it 458 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stpddog - United States Today, while trying to get my attention, my dog got her nail stuck in a usb port in my laptop. She freaked out and ran off, dragging it off my lap and through the house before if came off. Her nail was only slightly chipped- my laptop now has a cracked screen. FML I agree, your life sucks 44474 You deserved it 8937 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NYMTS - Australia Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML I agree, your life sucks 41250 You deserved it 10876 342 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By opposites don’t attract - 16/9/2020 11:03 - United States Cosmopolitan's 50 Top Tips for Lonely Saddos! Today, I was so sad and lonely, so I started browsing articles about how to get a man. Basically every list was naming the exact opposite of everything I am. So I guess if I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, I have to change everything about me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1043 You deserved it 312 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jennagirl - Australia Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML I agree, your life sucks 42326 You deserved it 3727 267 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By geeb - United States Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML I agree, your life sucks 9558 You deserved it 36368 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Milton Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML I agree, your life sucks 58323 You deserved it 7961 298 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thisiswhyimsingle - United States - Saint Louis Today, I decided to to gather up the courage to ask the cute boy in my math class for his number. He gave it to me, and I texted him later that night. But little did I know he actually gave me the number of the creep in class who is always grabbing my ass. I ended up asking the creep out. FML I agree, your life sucks 29007 You deserved it 3452 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Awkward - France Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, claiming moving in was a bad idea and he is the type who needs his privacy. It was his idea to move in, he had to convince me. Now we are stuck, under lease together for the next 6 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 29758 You deserved it 3685 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sarah220 - United States Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML I agree, your life sucks 43456 You deserved it 3282 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tabbycacti - Australia Today, I was waiting at a traffic light. I saw my neighbour and her new boyfriend crossing the road, then noticed as he started grabbing his crotch, but thought nothing of it. They both then pulled down their pants and urinated in the middle of the busy intersection. FML I agree, your life sucks 23849 You deserved it 1772 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By THANKS - Australia - Melbourne Today, it's my birthday. I had asked my parents for a keyboard, and I was really excited to open the massive box they gave me. It was a computer keyboard. I've been playing piano for 11 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 30944 You deserved it 4581 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NYCguy - United States Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML I agree, your life sucks 43551 You deserved it 15703 378 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CaptainSosuke - United States Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML I agree, your life sucks 25815 You deserved it 8360 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shit.jpg - United States - Waban Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML I agree, your life sucks 28638 You deserved it 4005 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By screwed - 11/3/2020 23:00 Bad choice of material, dude Today, I told my on and off girlfriend as a joke that I stalked her two years ago. She didn't believe me. When I say she didn't believe me, I mean she didn't believe it was a joke. FM I agree, your life sucks 446 You deserved it 1637 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By raven_of_azarath Today, I found out my 15-year-old cat is having gas problems when she farted in my face. My mouth was open. FML I agree, your life sucks 1453 You deserved it 285 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pissed out pants - United Kingdom Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML I agree, your life sucks 42841 You deserved it 3885 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tony456 - United States Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML I agree, your life sucks 32579 You deserved it 24502 252 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML I agree, your life sucks 12466 You deserved it 104439 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NoFriends - 6/10/2020 16:01 - Australia - North Lakes Social media was a mistake Today, my husband deleted the Messenger app, because he doesn't use it a lot, and people can text him. That's fine, but he didn't tell any of his contacts that. All his friends think he's blocked them. He's now pouting, because no one's texting him. He's not on Facebook, so no-one sees him there either. FML I agree, your life sucks 898 You deserved it 149 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SupaSu - Canada Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML I agree, your life sucks 74641 You deserved it 7891 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, my husband gave me an ultimatum - choose him or my male best friend. I chose my husband. My husband then admitted to me that he was hoping I would choose my best friend so he would have an excuse to leave me and wouldn't have to tell me he's been cheating on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 71720 You deserved it 4507 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Orangehead - United States Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML I agree, your life sucks 30221 You deserved it 3884 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By perpetuallyscrewed Today, after nearly eight months of unemployment, I started a great new job. After seven and a half hours of work, my new boss comes up to tell me what a great job I was doing, but that he somehow forgot to clear the new hire with the company owner, so I'm fired. Hello, unemployment... again. FML I agree, your life sucks 38772 You deserved it 2169 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML I agree, your life sucks 57729 You deserved it 5052 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By opposableouch - United Kingdom Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML I agree, your life sucks 32883 You deserved it 7920 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bad doc Save Me Today, I had to repeat myself multiple times and dumb down all my anatomical terms and symptoms while describing my illness to my doctor. I want to switch, but my insurance won’t cover another one for at least 60 more days. FML I agree, your life sucks 1334 You deserved it 139 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notcool - United States Today, I learned that my anxious and obsessive mother is going to drive three hours every weekend to attend a Johns Hopkins medical course on stress reduction. Why is this bad? I just left home for college and have enjoyed my last two weeks of freedom without her around. I attend Johns Hopkins. FML I agree, your life sucks 39239 You deserved it 3307 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By booger - United States - Plano Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML I agree, your life sucks 43650 You deserved it 14962 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML I agree, your life sucks 31723 You deserved it 10443 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LawStudent - United States - Indianapolis Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML I agree, your life sucks 34930 You deserved it 3584 338 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By livin - United States Today, I found out that on Wednesday, when I have 2 exams, I'm called to testify in court. If I go to court, I cannot make the exams. If I take the exams, I'll be held in contempt and arrested. FML I agree, your life sucks 47050 You deserved it 5907 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By radiantum13 Today, I got yelled at by my supervisor for getting an hour of overtime yesterday. The reason I had an hour of overtime was because that same supervisor made me stay late. FML I agree, your life sucks 14966 You deserved it 1043 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fuzy - France Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML I agree, your life sucks 29391 You deserved it 2339 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anthony - France Today, on a train, a little boy and girl come up to me and ask how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appears and says, "Go on, tell them!" FML I agree, your life sucks 24071 You deserved it 1643 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML I agree, your life sucks 12593 You deserved it 34266 217 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Brick How Thoughtful Today, I found out that my new serving job does in fact take the time out to write a check for $0.00. FML I agree, your life sucks 2022 You deserved it 158 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DeniedAgain - United States Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I'd had a quarter in my pocket. I find no change in my pocket once I get to the register, so I pull out my credit card. The cashier laughs a few seconds later. My card was declined for a piece of gum. FML I agree, your life sucks 39193 You deserved it 15470 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Laughluv - United States Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML I agree, your life sucks 7779 You deserved it 36726 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bunnyyy - United States Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. You would think he could at least spell my name right while ending our relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 36440 You deserved it 3802 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Christina Winden | 19 #7556458 - Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:34 He sounds like a Jerry Send a private message 33 3 Reply
By joeyl2008 | 29 #7556615 - Wednesday 25 October 2017 16:07 We're you a dick about catching him? Send a private message 22 2 Reply
By MyLifeAintThatBad | 10 #7556454 - Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:06 you need a new father Send a private message 5 12 Reply
By Christina Winden | 19 #7556458 - Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:34 He sounds like a Jerry Send a private message 33 3 Reply
Reply DavyJoe | 13 #7556844 - Thursday 26 October 2017 4:43 But Jerrys are the more stable and calm people. They also end up being pretty boring as well. Send a private message 2 1 Reply
Reply aquapearl736 | 16 #7557013 - Thursday 26 October 2017 16:23 Actually, Jerrys always want to come out on top over petty issues, although they rarely do so. I think this dad is a great example of a Jerry. Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By kirby1964 | 20 #7556459 - Wednesday 25 October 2017 6:46 Now you have time to watch that show more. Send a private message 1 3 Reply
By MaltWarrior | 32 #7556470 - Wednesday 25 October 2017 7:31 I’ve come to the conclusion your father must obviously be from from dimension J19ζ7. Send a private message 3 5 Reply
By Rip_money | 14 #7556481 - Wednesday 25 October 2017 7:59 He doesn’t want you getting an iq of 200 Send a private message 3 5 Reply
By Lobby_Bee | 17 #7556489 - Wednesday 25 October 2017 8:23 When he says it's terrible, it means it's terrible for underage you to watch. Gotta be at least his age to watch. Send a private message 5 3 Reply
By Donut_Wizard | 23 #7556492 - Wednesday 25 October 2017 8:30 He must really want that Szechuan sauce. Send a private message 2 2 Reply
By joeyl2008 | 29 #7556615 - Wednesday 25 October 2017 16:07 We're you a dick about catching him? Send a private message 22 2 Reply
By Mooglefox | 23 #7556619 - Wednesday 25 October 2017 16:19 Same thing happened to me when I caught my dad playing my video games after calling it kiddy crack Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By 19mackay92ally | 4 #7557191 - Friday 27 October 2017 3:47 you dads a clown Send a private message 2 1 Reply
Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 418 You deserved it 48 11 Comments
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract... I agree, your life sucks 542 You deserved it 48 2 Comments