Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I... - FML

By -_____- - 31/07/2013 21:23 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 077

You deserved it 8 071

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 359

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 5 073

By Haley. - 26/03/2010 23:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 302

You deserved it 6 537

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Spicy

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 350

You deserved it 2 828

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 17:23 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 753

You deserved it 3 467

A load of hot air

By SkipBeatOtaku - 16/05/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 707

Let it all out

By pottypattypeepants - 31/12/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 684

You deserved it 19 646

Gas wars

By Ali - 04/10/2020 23:02

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 385

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 11 310

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 561

You deserved it 1 618

Next

Top comments

nmcoy 6

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:35

Pink eye from the brown eye?

davincidasecond 24

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:35

Did you tell him it's "pink eye", not "pink dick"?

Comments

mcm_3 16

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:35

Ummmm.... intreguing

Wizardo 33

Thursday 1 August 2013 7:27

This just confirms my suspicions that FML comments are turning into Dolan comics...

AculyAmber 12

Thursday 1 August 2013 21:23

This was a pretty funny mistake for someone with a brain for a picture!

bluerhhajfk 17

Friday 9 August 2013 1:01

It really should be up-voted

nmcoy 6

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:35

Pink eye from the brown eye?

Fuji76 15

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:43

Wonder how you tell? Can't be because it gets swollen and oozes gunk, huh?

davincidasecond 24

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:35

Did you tell him it's "pink eye", not "pink dick"?

patrickalamo 47

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:44

And the difference between pink and purple is your grip.

ThePK 5

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:35

I don't think you realize that it's also called the "One-Eyed Snake". Therefore, easily he can get pinkeye there...!

PterodactylMan 23

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:36

At least he was careful, pink-eye is dangerous!

OneGirlTwoCups 13

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:48

And painful on the fourth of July.

SirEbro 7

Thursday 1 August 2013 10:19

And now he just needs an anatomy lesson.

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 3 August 2013 14:34

And contagious. Really, he was just thinking of you.

SaxophoneHero 12

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:36

Hey, he was just being careful. Pinkeye is very unpleasant.

WellThatSucked89 13

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:36

Haha. Silly boyfriend. Sorry for his, for lack of a better phrase, re-dick-ulous assumption.

ryanthecheeseguy 18

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:37

I hope he did get pink-dick.

Metallica36176 16

Thursday 1 August 2013 16:07

I favorited this FML because it made me laugh so hard... and then I had to read your ******* comment to make me lose it even more. xD

firstbasemaster 15

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:38

Pinkeye is very serious especially dick pinkeye

daniel_0084 14

Thursday 1 August 2013 8:18

Mr. 14 and single. How the hell do you know dick pink eye is a serious thing? Have you gotten pink dick before or are you just commenting shit to be disliked?

arroberts 10

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:42

What's worse is that his username is "firstbasemaster".

Goblin182 26

Thursday 1 August 2013 20:36

pink eye dick sounds like a grunge band

bdonalee97 6

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:38

Is your boyfriend stupid?

Wakachulak 22

Thursday 1 August 2013 8:52

Kinda obvious, ain' it?

Testing1234 25

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:40

Your boyfriend doesnt seem to know what he said?

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 091

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 623

You deserved it 4 823

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 602

You deserved it 344

Today, I got the earlier bus to avoid my ex after a painful breakup. He had the same idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 640

You deserved it 4 042

Today, after a solid month of hard work, I finally finished modeling and animating a 3D insect character for a scene. After presenting it to the rest of my team, one of my teammates pointed out that it looks exactly like a flying penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 922

You deserved it 6 089

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 216

You deserved it 13 445

Today, I kindly explained to a client that she had calculated her CD interest wrong. She kindly responded that, as a nurse, she would never give me medical treatment if I was involved in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 572

You deserved it 626