Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I... - FML

By -_____- - 31/07/2013 21:23 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 101

You deserved it 8 078

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 752

You deserved it 36 385

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 336

You deserved it 5 079

By Haley. - 26/03/2010 23:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 333

You deserved it 6 545

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Spicy

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 358

You deserved it 2 838

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 17:23 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 766

You deserved it 3 469

A load of hot air

By SkipBeatOtaku - 16/05/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 716

Let it all out

By pottypattypeepants - 31/12/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 720

You deserved it 19 655

Gas wars

By Ali - 04/10/2020 23:02

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 391

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 900

You deserved it 11 316

Class act

By LoveStruck- - 10/02/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 824

You deserved it 5 749

Next

Top comments

nmcoy 6

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:35

Pink eye from the brown eye?

davincidasecond 24

Thursday 1 August 2013 5:35

Did you tell him it's "pink eye", not "pink dick"?

Comments

Omniprism 14

Thursday 1 August 2013 17:49

What a dumb ass.

diagnosed 15

Thursday 1 August 2013 18:23

looks like it's time to find a boyfriend with an actual IQ

GGregoire 16

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:10

I would be scared for my one eyed snake as well

arroberts 10

Thursday 1 August 2013 19:44

Pink-dick is the ultimate sacrifice for anal.

tgabes 9

Thursday 1 August 2013 21:54

Well....we're you?

rawlings123 17

Friday 2 August 2013 3:56

Why fart on his dick anyway. thats sick

iwadasn 32

Friday 2 August 2013 5:40

Did you miss the "accidentally" part?

AnimeBitch 14

Friday 2 August 2013 6:52

DAFUQ did I just read?

AllenRed 15

Saturday 3 August 2013 3:53

....Uh-huh. Well-... Hahah, I don't really have any smart remarks for this... The stupidity is contagious..?

ladybuglet 22

Saturday 3 August 2013 16:19

Careful! You are dating an idiot!

tarbaby6193 6

Monday 5 August 2013 5:08

Are u aware that your dating someone with mental retardation?

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Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 800

You deserved it 3 226

Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 188

You deserved it 7 732

Today, I went through my boyfriend's old phone to get over a gut feeling I've been having that things aren't as good as they seem. Turns out he's been taking videos of himself masturbating and sending the videos to chicks on WhatsApp, and contacting an old neighbor trying to hook up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 268

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 108

You deserved it 6 733

Today, after I tried to help my friend bust his cheating girlfriend, he seems to still trust her, so now my office friends think I'm a bigmouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 183

Today, I realized that my somewhat flamboyant behavior may have given people the wrong impression when my classmate tried to set me up with one of her male friends. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask her out all semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 826

You deserved it 2 199