Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
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By
Airman1988
| 9
If that's all it takes to break his concentration he has a lot of disappointment heading his way for the future, what an ass
By
whyusofat
| 17
Pretty sure thats what you call "pussy problems".
COMMENTS
By
Airman1988
| 9
If that's all it takes to break his concentration he has a lot of disappointment heading his way for the future, what an ass
Reply
lopsop
| 12
Cock blocked by a cat ehh its better than him having him not have sex because of Mario cart.
Reply
narrowords
| 18
I'm always torn between "your life sucks" and "you deserve it" for the "my boyfriend/husband did this" posts. Because that really sucks, yet the OP is still saying "my boyfriend," as in they didn't dump him like they should've. Do they expect it to get better from here on in? Ha.
Reply
Bladian
| 5
She should've dumped him? Uh, no.
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
1: Forget about his disappointment; think of how much disappointment SHE's in for with sex like that.
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
Also, wtf is going on in France these days? First sisters giving their brothers hickeys, now dudes who can't perform when a cat is around. FML explosion in Paris?
Reply
Mommyof2_91
| 10
Sounds like your boyfriend has a stick up his ass.
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thiscrazything
| 1
Seems like you should be throwing out not just the cat. Why keep someone in you life, who will disrespect you like that?
Reply
AssTard
| 15
It astounds me how he can call his girlfriend a bitch. First of all, you don't treat anyone like that; especially for such a dumb reason. Second of all, you definitely don't treat a woman like that. Third of all, you don't treat the person your dating like that.
Reply
mboehm88
| 3
52 - More-so than the bad sex, calling her a bitch over something so trivial is showing some serious anger issues that 99.9% of the time get worse down the line.
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yummylicious
| 5
Spike his drink with Adderall. That'll keep him focused.
Reply
petraphotoDOTca
| 6
MAYBE HE HAS ALLERGIES.
try having sex with a major asthma attack
NOT FUN.
try having sex with a major asthma attack
NOT FUN.
Reply
xx000o
| 27
Sounds like she should have put him outside for the final time.
Reply
KittRosewood
| 7
47 - To be fair, he up and called her a bitch for no good reason. That's not heading any place good. Perhaps breaking up is the better option.
Reply
wlddog
| 14
This post is just too hard to believe. I have a sneaking feeling this story is no were near what actually happened.
It would make more sense if the cat was going crazy because it was in heat or something, and the boyfriend asked her to take the cat away so they could focus. When she rejected the idea (and I'm sure she called him a few things for not being able to focus) he probably tried one more time but yet again the cat was just driving him mad. He pulled out and when the girlfriend said something he called her a bitch.
That sounds WAY more believable.
It would make more sense if the cat was going crazy because it was in heat or something, and the boyfriend asked her to take the cat away so they could focus. When she rejected the idea (and I'm sure she called him a few things for not being able to focus) he probably tried one more time but yet again the cat was just driving him mad. He pulled out and when the girlfriend said something he called her a bitch.
That sounds WAY more believable.
Reply
Daederoth
| 10
Bull shit, he had finished early and was looking for an excuse to stop.
Reply
william8691
| 10
Ha!
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Genoc123
| 5
Your hott. :)
Reply
I_heart_sex
| 1
Pussy anxiety!
By
whyusofat
| 17
Pretty sure thats what you call "pussy problems".
Reply
SliceOfCake
| 9
Boyfriend: ohhh, I'm gon-
Cat: meow.
Moment ruined.
Troll Cat: 1, Idiot Boyfriend: 0.
Cat: meow.
Moment ruined.
Troll Cat: 1, Idiot Boyfriend: 0.
Reply
CaramelMacchiato
| 13
^ Pussy points! >:}D
Reply
Krysk_fml
| 0
Isn't there a line on DocBastards profile where he says he hopes to never see these comments ever again?
Reply
StanSmith_fml
| 9
Why yes. Yes there is.
Reply
Samus25
| 5
*puts on shades*
YEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
YEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Reply
thisisafunnyname
| 12
Most guys would love to have two pussies at the same time
Reply
mugu
| 0
Your pic is so...... so intriguing & intricate lol!!
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
Win.
By
msl1333
| 4
Doesn't matter. Had sex?
Reply
ebonyirony
| 29
She kept looking at her watch
(Doesn't matter had sex)
But I cried the whole time
(Doesn't matter had sex)
I think she mighta been a racist
(Doesn't matter had sex)
She left the cat in the house
(still counts)
(Doesn't matter had sex)
But I cried the whole time
(Doesn't matter had sex)
I think she mighta been a racist
(Doesn't matter had sex)
She left the cat in the house
(still counts)
Reply
EagorLuvsBigFoot
| 8
The Lonely Island, YEAAA
By
Crazberry
| 5
Put him outside...
Reply
luckyd880
| 12
Seriously. Dump him. Anyone that calls you any kind of horrible names has no respect for you (ESP over something so stupid and insignificant). He's not going to get any better. If a guy doesn't have respect for a girl then that's it. He needs to learn it on his own, and usually with age. It usually starts with a guy respecting his mom. If he doesn't, then it's women in general he doesn't see as equals. Trust me. I just got out of a relationship just like this. Get out while you still can!
Reply
Crazberry
| 5
Hear hear 170! And bravo for getting out of that relationship :)
By
_ebbonyy
| 11
what a romantic first time experience! naht, he sounds like a dud. the next time he's wanking, go ruin it for him! :-)
Reply
rpm234
| 0
I'm a sad, lonely little man/woman/thing. Hell, I don't even know what I am. Someone please shower me with pity and tell me it's all going to be okay.
Reply
doctorhook86
| 24
36: I don't know what's more confusing: the OP's boyfriend's feelings about cats or your comment.
Reply
retyi43
| 14
the latter
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pagullarka
| 9
# six I don't care about OP's boyfriend or her cat I just want you to move your camera in your next picture little bit down please :)
Reply
rldrship
| 0
I agree
Reply
tournamentdecide
| 33
...They're just knees...
By
laurenobrien
| 4
YOLO
By
llamafish
| 25
Your cat's a perve.
Reply
thisiscat
| 14
Am not!
Reply
LoganBurrito
| 6
95 - first on Skype, now FML •3• coincidence? Probably not.
Reply
kakarot2
| 11
^ALIENS?
By
olpally
| 32
Anger management anyone? What a dick...
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
That's actually what the cat said in cat language. OP's boyfriend is even more of a dick for not accepting a very good compliment from a cat.
By
SliceOfCake
| 9
Troll cat strikes again.
Reply
Eiregal2
| 10
I wish to devour you!!! grrrr
???
???
By
wannagofast
| 3
I hope you put your cat back in your pants after that