By 20month dry spell
Today, my girlfriend thinks I'm sex-obsessed because of the number of times I've asked for it. I've asked exactly 3 times this year, one of which was on my birthday. She said no all 3 times. I'm usually too scared of her temper to even try. FML
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You're totally right. People now seem to think intimacy isn't a key part of a long-term relationship, but it is. It's a way to connect and share moments of love and passion.
Sounds like OP has severe lack of that.

  kujiens101  |  24

I don’t like how people disliked this comment. You literally asked a good question. Sex is a very intimate and wonderful thing in a loving relationship and many people consider to be a crucial thing to feel close to your partner. If that need isn’t being met, what else is?

  alycion  |  38

Maybe he should try to find out why first. I know someone who had a medical condition that made it very, very painful. Depression can also lower sex drive as well as many other treatable conditions. Also, PTSD can make it where you don’t want to be touched. Many with these issues are too embarrassed to bring it up until asked. With treatment, the problem can be fixed if it’s the reason.

By  Quasita  |  26

If you're too scared to ask her what's up, then it's your own damn fault.
Maybe it hurts. Maybe she feels like she gives you constant attention in multiple ways and you're focusing on intercourse like it's the only thing that counts. Maybe she feels completely neglected for her needs and thus gets angry when you're asking for yet another thing from her. Who knows?

However, if you're old enough to be having a nearly 2 year "dry spell" then you're old enough to broach a grown up conversation about it. If you're not willing to have a conversation to figure out the actual issue, it's your own damn fault.

As stated in another comment, clearly there's a reason you stay with her. Her having a temper you're afraid of is not a valid reason, and it's no one's fault but your own if that's your reason. My guess, however, is that she's actually a pretty good person who puts up with a lot of BS from your weak ass, and is simply waiting for the day you actually seem genuinely interested in what's wrong.

  1known  |  29

Today I was told by a stranger who knows nothing about my life I was focusing to much on sex because I said that this year I've asked my girlfriend 3 times to have some. FML

  lexos  |  16

Maybe she should start to talk if that's the case. It's not the men's duty to figure out every problem. In a relationship you're both supposed to communicate if you have a problem.

  SainBB  |  3

Fuck off it's not his fault you stupid bitch. How fucking dare you.
I guess it's every womans fault if they are in an abusive relationship with a male right?

  Rsonicgamer  |  12

You do realize he doesn't complain about not having sex, but about not being able to ask for it ? He might have regular sex, but only on her impulse...

  Squidgegg  |  4

I don't think asking three times in a year is 'focusing on'.

Maybe there's nothing. Maybe there's no fault, besides her apparently horrific temper. Maybe he's just settled into a groove with this bitch and it's too difficult to leave, logistically. Maybe they have a lease, or a dog, or something.

Sometimes the guy isn't the problem. Sometimes the girlfriend is just a bitch.

  Justin Allan Bannister  |  9

I actually agree with this woman. Man up! I was in a relationship with a woman that kept cheating and was kind of creepy at times and I manned up and said go away. there's laws to protect you and if you're going to sit there and say well you know he's being abused, he's allowing it. Grow a pair and leave

By  MannyWasHere  |  12

I get that it’s not all about sex, but that it is important for you. Just tell her. If you two can’t reach an agreement, then it just wasn’t meant to be. And that’s ok.

Wish you luck!

By  pscool  |  11

First of all you obviously have a serious issue with communication in your relationship so that being said you should probably move on at this point! Also if you guys aren’t super religious or something there’s a good possibility she’s is getting it elsewhere or is taking care of her self because you’re not getting the job done properly. Or as someone else mention there are medical medical conditions that could possibly make actual intercourse painful for her. Up here for play game it’s really important for girls you can’t just be like “oh can we have sex tonight” you have to set the mood for play emotional intimacy... and open communication and Mutual expectations.

By  PhoenixChick  |  26

It's true that sex isn't everything, and that people have drives of different levels. But if your girl won't meet you halfway and gets angry at you for having different needs, you really aren't all that compatable. You need to be at least able to talk about ways you don't match up and not hold it against each other.