By 20month dry spell - 27/09/2018 03:00

Today, my girlfriend thinks I'm sex-obsessed because of the number of times I've asked for it. I've asked exactly 3 times this year, one of which was on my birthday. She said no all 3 times. I'm usually too scared of her temper to even try. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 772
You deserved it 1 378

Same thing different taste

Top comments

So, is she a great cook, or good with money. Maybe she opens doors for your career? Why do you stay?

I’ve been on both sides of this in a relationship and both times I was scared to leave, but both times I was glad to go. Just leave, it’s best for both of you.


So, is she a great cook, or good with money. Maybe she opens doors for your career? Why do you stay?

You're totally right. People now seem to think intimacy isn't a key part of a long-term relationship, but it is. It's a way to connect and share moments of love and passion. Sounds like OP has severe lack of that.

Maybe she has worms and the guy likes to go fishing ;)

kujiens101 24

I don’t like how people disliked this comment. You literally asked a good question. Sex is a very intimate and wonderful thing in a loving relationship and many people consider to be a crucial thing to feel close to your partner. If that need isn’t being met, what else is?

swimthenread27 19

Some people are asexual and don’t need sex for a strong relationship. Sex isn’t a necessity for everyone in relationships.

I’ve been on both sides of this in a relationship and both times I was scared to leave, but both times I was glad to go. Just leave, it’s best for both of you.

Maybe he should try to find out why first. I know someone who had a medical condition that made it very, very painful. Depression can also lower sex drive as well as many other treatable conditions. Also, PTSD can make it where you don’t want to be touched. Many with these issues are too embarrassed to bring it up until asked. With treatment, the problem can be fixed if it’s the reason.

If you're too scared to ask her what's up, then it's your own damn fault. Maybe it hurts. Maybe she feels like she gives you constant attention in multiple ways and you're focusing on intercourse like it's the only thing that counts. Maybe she feels completely neglected for her needs and thus gets angry when you're asking for yet another thing from her. Who knows? However, if you're old enough to be having a nearly 2 year "dry spell" then you're old enough to broach a grown up conversation about it. If you're not willing to have a conversation to figure out the actual issue, it's your own damn fault. As stated in another comment, clearly there's a reason you stay with her. Her having a temper you're afraid of is not a valid reason, and it's no one's fault but your own if that's your reason. My guess, however, is that she's actually a pretty good person who puts up with a lot of BS from your weak ass, and is simply waiting for the day you actually seem genuinely interested in what's wrong.

I feel like you may be angry at something else and venting on the guy here...

this author is bat shit crazy. she probably hasn't even seen a dick that's not on her computer

Being afraid of a partner is not a valid reason for leaving, and is OPs own fault? Sounds dangerously like blaming a partner for being abused.

Today I was told by a stranger who knows nothing about my life I was focusing to much on sex because I said that this year I've asked my girlfriend 3 times to have some. FML

Maybe she should start to talk if that's the case. It's not the men's duty to figure out every problem. In a relationship you're both supposed to communicate if you have a problem.

SainBB 3

**** off it's not his fault you stupid bitch. How ******* dare you. I guess it's every womans fault if they are in an abusive relationship with a male right?

onceuponatime456 16

I feel like you are a complete assh*le!

Rsonicgamer 12

You do realize he doesn't complain about not having sex, but about not being able to ask for it ? He might have regular sex, but only on her impulse...

Squidgegg 4

I don't think asking three times in a year is 'focusing on'. Maybe there's nothing. Maybe there's no fault, besides her apparently horrific temper. Maybe he's just settled into a groove with this bitch and it's too difficult to leave, logistically. Maybe they have a lease, or a dog, or something. Sometimes the guy isn't the problem. Sometimes the girlfriend is just a bitch.

Grow a pair and leave. Things are this way because you’ve allowed it to get to this point. You totally deserve it.

Did you not hear that he’s scared of her temper? This sounds like an abusive relationship and insensitive twats like you aren’t helping. **** entirely off.

What kind of a bitch of a man is afraid of a womans temper to leave a relationship.

SainBB 3

I guess all woman deserve being in a abusive relationship, they didn't leave.

Yes... clearly people deserve the abuse they get from a relationship they may be too scared to leave. Grow up.

Justin Allan Bannister 9

I actually agree with this woman. Man up! I was in a relationship with a woman that kept cheating and was kind of creepy at times and I manned up and said go away. there's laws to protect you and if you're going to sit there and say well you know he's being abused, he's allowing it. Grow a pair and leave

Yet if OP was a girl and scared of her boyfriend’s temper, you’d be saying, “you’re a queen, leave him!!1!1”

MannyWasHere 12

I get that it’s not all about sex, but that it is important for you. Just tell her. If you two can’t reach an agreement, then it just wasn’t meant to be. And that’s ok. Wish you luck!

A sexless relationship is a boring relationship .. leave while it's easier and find someone that wants sex as much as you do.

First of all you obviously have a serious issue with communication in your relationship so that being said you should probably move on at this point! Also if you guys aren’t super religious or something there’s a good possibility she’s is getting it elsewhere or is taking care of her self because you’re not getting the job done properly. Or as someone else mention there are medical medical conditions that could possibly make actual intercourse painful for her. Up here for play game it’s really important for girls you can’t just be like “oh can we have sex tonight” you have to set the mood for play emotional intimacy... and open communication and Mutual expectations.

It's true that sex isn't everything, and that people have drives of different levels. But if your girl won't meet you halfway and gets angry at you for having different needs, you really aren't all that compatable. You need to be at least able to talk about ways you don't match up and not hold it against each other.

If you can’t communicate, it’s not going to work.