Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how two girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend said, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he'd just said, he hesitantly added, "…if I was single." FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML
Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML
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Top comments
NoahStaz 3
That's when you tell him that his brother or father is bigger.
AwkwardHaole808 16
Dump his ass and find someone better.
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Comments (167)
hotPinklipstick 24
Now normally I wouldn't suggest this but, dump him. The only reasonable explanation for this that doesn't involve cheating is if he was thinking about his ex, and even then that shows he isn't over her.
ThatGuitarGod 0
Because, you know. People messing up their words when they're drunk is totally unheard of. It's not a stretch to say "blonde" when you meant to say "brunette", especially when alcohol's involved.
Fmlsea 28
Remember things that are said drunk are sober thoughts , so ditch the cheating douche least you find out now rather then later on .
annie_nk 23
I had a fortune cookie that said "A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts". Even the cookie knows lol
kahveen 5
Hi :D
LaughterofCorn 4
It looks like someone has some explaining to do...
krmc822 6
What a dip shit.
Hockeyboy4280 18
What a **** sucker...
disneydraeer 10
^ Was that really necessary?
Legend_Of_Meemow 1
lol
Hockeyboy4280 18
78- Twas a pun to the ******* FML...
s0m3guy2010 21
Maybe if you paid more attention to his asthma, you'd give him some great ******** too. He may even need to have a ******* everyday just to live normally. (referring to a previous FML)
n1988e 8
Hopefully u left the party without him..
OfficialJSmooth 8
Well if you want the truth get it from the mouth of a drunk... Dump him..
Brandon_ryan 0
Or maybe she has stupid color hair and he can't distinguish blonde from her streaky brown. I'll bet he's talking about you. Always negative first on here. Give him benefit of the doubt before you shutter him to ***** island
AllyyK 9
I thumbed you up just for your Anchorman reference :)
Brandon_ryan 0
Well thanks.
Mekeritrig 15
So do you give great ********?
dude1122332 9
Seriously?
DarthDeath 12
49- Yeh I agree. Seriously man? Of course she does!
bjoernabee 1
I thought it wasnt a bad fml until i read the brunette part haha