Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how two girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend said, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he'd just said, he hesitantly added, "…if I was single." FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML
Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML
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Top comments
NoahStaz 3
That's when you tell him that his brother or father is bigger.
AwkwardHaole808 16
Dump his ass and find someone better.
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Comments (167)
dacuar 0
Add that to the list of things you no longer have to do for him.
downtime 13
And he will add it to his list of reasons he doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore...
Neligee 9
Move on to the next guy ;)
Inciter 33
Dump him and find someone better.
Dunvanation 4
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ This is bull. When a persons drunk, it's easy to get little details confused like hair color etc. ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Dunvanation 4
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ This is bull. When a persons drunk, it's easy to get little details confused like hair color etc. ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Bob88rob 1
That blows!
suoerkewl 15
He could be talking about a previous girlfriend an forgot to say "ex" before it.
B3Y0ND 3
Still doesn't justify his inappropriate comment.
supportcommand 17
There's only one thing you can do here. You need to give him the best beejers he's ever had. Turn it up a notch.
subwaysurfers 13
Even if she gave the WORST bjs, he shouldn't go around looking for other girls to give him good ones. He tells his gf he doesn't enjoy them or tells her how to improve. This is in no way the OP's fault. The guy is simply a cheating ********.
zaynismylove 2
I would kick him in the balls and say " theres a *******"
NukeFusion 1
Most drunk guys say more lies to people. especially if he is around his buddies.. Just trying to act cool probably.